Your every heartbeat that speaks deep Love,
etched with benevolence and real strength.
Incomparable, blessed, true gift from above,
patience is endless, to measure the length.
~Nodz
In celebration of International Women’s day, this is to recognize all women as pillars of strength for their families, communities and country. May God bless each of one of us, as we continue to serve as the “light.”
Time to escape, put the reality aside, dig down this revery,
rest my head, lie down locked in an embrace, feel the sensation.
Been moving around for quite a while, letting go of a memory,
I need to find myself again to inscribe thoughts and emotions.
“oh it’s good to be back now renewed, filling up a blank page”
~Nodz
Sending you all peace, happiness and LOVE ❤
I will write soon!
~Nodz
The road is steep, rough and the way is too dark,
wind is fiercely blowing while silence is screaming.
This tired aching feet is telling; “you need to stop”
but my heart and mind whispering a different thing.
I must find the light, that searing light I once had,
love that awakened my soul, ignited my whole being.
~Nodz
Fierce hearts and the floating bitterness,
pain was immense, my soul is deeply crying.
Calm every fears, soothe our weariness,
the world is chained by fire, we are all dying.
Praying to you God, I indeed seen heartaches,
where is peace hiding, where is your light?
Hear our voices, sorrows we can no longer take,
give us “YOUR” strength, to continue our fight.
~Nodz
*Praying for Davao City (Philippines) bomb victims…
Searching the entire universe, looking for your sign, I only failed…
telling the breeze, maybe I could feel, but there was none,
I shouted then to the rocks and mountains, calling out your name,
heart hopelessly raging against the reality.. you’re really gone.
~Nodz ~*~
Shutting my eyes, sensing the melancholic stillness gripping the place,
I could hear silence and this thought starts racing to nothing.
I am thinking what the Heaven looks like, to feel an angel’s embrace,
let me hear the sound of the golden trumpet and the bells ringing.
As the wind flows through my veins, this sorrow marches out of the way,
there’s a spark of hope, I feel a river moving in my soul, a relief.
His wisdom speaks, a gentle voice that says, be calm, don’t be dismayed.
A rare quiet moment alone, thanking ABOVE, it eases the pain and grief.
~Nodz
Taken from our place *hometown (personally captured) last March it’s a mountain resort, such a beautiful place to visit, so refreshing, I sat there for hours and just savored the moment alone…
There’s a fearful sound of a rushing waves inside,
getting struck by a strong lightning in this head.
Alone in my storm, searching for that voice to guide,
where are you? ..I am holding on to the things you said.
~Nodz
How to ignite the fire within, this heart calls, screaming,
help me revive my lost soul to keep the flame burning.
My mind is empty, too much noise in this weary head,
I cannot write anything, I feel like a part of me is dead.
~Nodz
The window opens, allowing the breeze to sweep across her face,
it made a fire, her soul lifted up, heart dances as she closed her eyes.
If only she could freeze the time, hold onto this moment, let it stay,
life that says, nothing stands still, everything moves, everything flies.
~Nodz
The glow in your eyes gently soothe the soul,
feeling the warmth of your touch, my heart leaps up,
Your love completes me and you make me whole,
but this is just a memory now hanging tightly wrapped.
Mind’s racing, again,the song plays, pulling me back,
hiding my feeling, the tears of longing as I walk a mile.
Mind speaks while heart grieves, I miss your smile.
~Nodz
<Reflection-Prayer>
Trials put our faith to the test.
No matter what its source or intensity, there’s something about suffering that simplifies life and draw us back to the basics. Invariably, especially during a time of intense trial,…. I go back to what I really believe. I return to the elementals such as prayer and dependence, like getting quiet and waiting on God. I remind myself, God is sovereign… this is no accident. He has plan and a purpose. Those thoughts give us hope beyond our trials.
Trials put pur faith to the tests as well as stretch our confidence in Him. They force us back to the bedrock of faith upon which our foundation rests, and this becomes a refining and necessary process.
<Hope again>
~Charles Swindoll
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Dear God
When it feels as if everything falls apart,
I will cling to the fact that you keep your word.
One thing you have promised is, in Heaven,
suffering will cease, never again will we grieve.
Help me to trust that you will deliver me from,
these tough times, see me through for your glory.
Amen.
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope
we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.
*HEBREWS 10:23
Like most people today. I lead an active life. Often I feel like a one -woman-juggling act. Sometimes it get’s out of control-or rather, I get out of control. Recently, I found myself waking up in the morning, dreading to face the new day and my seemingly endless duties. My prayer time was sometimes suffering *sorry Lord 😦 overwhelmed with pressures. Yet, I kept taking on more and more….
Get on, sun is up,
Gotta start moving
A toast and coffee’s in desk,
I’m now start thinking
A hidden voice saying,
“Slow down , just take your time”
Still, this clock loudly screaming
Time is up!, sun’s down
I must be home by now
To our door, feet leading me
To the fridge ,”let me see”
Kids asking what’s for dinner?
Giving them a wink, ” wait then”
Just slowly count one to ten
Alone now , my prayer time
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“I never knew how much love could hold my heart until a little voice called me “Mom”
Remembering all mothers in the world, whose love is true, endless and unconditional, this one day isn’t enough to thank her..
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
I love you Mama….
GOD BLESS ALL MOMMIES!
“I never knew how much love could hold my heart until a little voice called me “Mom” ~ Nodz
You were my hands, your good heart was my motivation,
your soul was my pen, it digs out long-buried emotions.
Whatever the weather, I never run out of words to write,
thoughts are flowing out in a quick glance at your smile.
As this fiery love inside of you reaches deep into my core,
I can touch the moon and stars, my heart will start to roar.
Not until the Heaven’s light came down, you needed to go,
no more phrases to rhyme, even a single picture to show.
Time passes, as the sun rises after sunset, night into day,
The mind starts speaking again, my imagination to play.
Finding my way back to try again, to rekindle the passion,
I will just gaze above and think of you….my inspiration.
~Nodz
🌹❤️🌹
How’s our dear “brave little soldier” up there in Heaven?,
an angel, our guardian with a halo and two golden wings,
Laughing, giggling, plays around, I know he’s happy again,
no more pain, he’s with YOU now, heart rejoices, sings.
Countless rainy days, summer passed, nothing’s change,
my star, a precious gem, one could ever blessed with.
That very day I heard his first cry, joy couldn’t be replaced,
beautiful memories; like his first walk, my heart bleeds.
Boy with an extraordinary kindness, goodness in his hand,
with strength, love, hope in heart as he embraced his fate.
His beautiful soul inspires and the broken spirits he mended,
we saw the world through his eyes, pure, real and great.
We miss him so much, if we could only hug him just now,
to wish him today, to see him again blowing a blue cake.
Tell him, we love him deeply, forever we will make a vow,
far yet so close, love stays, a promise will never break.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN OUR ANGEL RAIK❤️
*Mom, dad and your big brother Jay love you so dearly…and our dogs; Kimi and Chocnut are wagging their tails to send you their love as well..Keep watching over us.
In peace, staring at the milion stars, lies my very heart,
looking for ones that appear the brightest, my wishes.
Putting my soul into, to believe, this plays the big part,
even how long I walk just to cross a thousand bridges.
The shimmering light be my lead, remind me each night,
and an angel to watch, I’m praying not to leave my side.
Touch my hand, lift my faith, let my dream hold me tight,
I will never never give up, God and Heaven be my guide.
~Nodz
**Image Source: http://hd4desktop.com/70743-reach-for-the-stars/
It’s been more than a year now, since our son left us, left this world and peacefully earned his angel wings, now safe and secure in the hands of God. It takes courage for me now to look back and reminisce each details again, write my feelings about it. How am I now? Our life was not all been plain sailing, it was rough and bumpy ride, nevertheless I have more miles to cross to reach my healing destination. All these time, I harbored all the feelings; my devastations, frustrations, anxieties even my anger. I was in the state of harbination, moved to somewhere a lot quieter for a while, away from the crowd, from the noise, chose to be with my family alone and God, I tried to cope all the times that had been lost. I may scare some people If I would keep on sharing our grief telling the universe how harrowing it was losing a child, yeah, they would listen to your drama but not all the time, some would not be able to fully perceive or understand what’s going on with your heart. Nothing’s change, I still grieve on same sentiments, still have my “what if’s ” and missing my son each day is really tough and agonizing. It’s not easy but taking just one step slower would bring me to a goal, fulfilling what I have promised. My son had a rare vascular condition, wherein he needed a blood transfusion regularly to extend his life. I got so overwhelmed by many entangled questions, simply to know his condition wasn’t enough. I did lots of research to get more informations. I connected with some people with kids having the same case around the globe, they assisted me of informations that could help and and I was able to send his medical records to US. Feel blessed I got recommendations but for some reasons things didn’t happen the way what’s supposed to be done, things didn’t materialize as we hoped, his struggles continued. In life how much we try to do our best for something if things are not meant, we can’t do anything. Only God has the last word for everything. When my son took his last breath I made this one “big promise ” to continue his kindness and generosity, I must do something in his behalf one day. I know God and my angel are guiding me, leading me to where to start, torn between the pain, desperation of yesterday, and my promise, one thing now is very sure that I know, God wants me to continue…
Just a share…
~Nodz
I thank the Heaven for this very special day,
truly my gift, the day I was given air to breathe.
Fresh chapter, my new journey starts today,
more faith, hope, strength lifted from beneath.
A prayer and my deep wish I softly whisper,
thank you so much dear God for another year❤️
~Nodz
Blowing kisses to my Angel in Heaven, wish he’s here…..
Do feel and listen to what it really says,
a loud thumping sound of a horse’s hoof.
Continous, running, a story that plays,
a fast beat, till it screams to wall and roof.
Whisper it to Heaven, tell all your fears,
It shed the rays of grace, breathe, be still.
It will embrace you, wipe all your tears.
God’s comfort, His hands you would feel.
Soul will be lifted, new song will be sung,
you will hear angel’s hum inside your heart.
Don’t give up, hear it from my own tongue,
been there, just stay, wait and never depart.
~Nodz
For Pope Francis:
As I gazed on that bright white dress, the Heaven opened,
holiness speaks, the love and mercy of Christ has shown.
The crowd was rejoicing, eyes on the sky, faith strengthen,
hearing God’s messages penetrates down the very soul.
I lift my hands to you O God, thanking you, bless this man,
as he continues to spread Your words, guide your servant.
It was truly amazing and an unforgettable experience to witness Papal’s visit . Our dear Pope Francis thank you for visiting Philippines❤️ Salamat sa malasakit 🙏
~Nodz
Image Source: inspirationwordslove.tumblr.com
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I am now starting filling up another blank page,
Give more love, fear less and continue to dream.
As the Heaven reminds me to keep up good deeds,
and be grateful enough even for little blessings.
I must add more faith and patience in every storm,
God will be my light and guide, my burning torch.
In each tick of the clock, I will make the most of it,
to bring more beauty, share goodness, hope to see.
~Nodz
Looking back down her memory lane, it was all fine,
a life being surrounded by people and smiles.
Everyone she knew was there, moon and sea rhyme,
blowing their kisses, walking with her in miles.
A fierce storm came up and her boat slowly sinking,
grasping for help, praying she could feel a hand.
But she was alone, not even a single rope…nothing,
still ..she swam out with faith reaching the sand.
~Nodz
In the midst of noise, flickering lights caught my sight,
rapidly flashing red, green and gold I closed my eyes.
Embracing the breeze against my skin, I felt you near,
thinking of you, missing you, how I wish you can hear.
~Nodz
12:04 : A BLESSED NEW YEAR TO ALL OF US❤️
Walking through that dark hidden valley, no one knows,
there’s a raging battle between heart and mind, it goes.
A nightmare I cannot escape with, my world is bleeding,
stuck inside this heart and it pierced through my being.
Letting it all go, taking a different route, it’s difficult to take.
my hands lifting to you dear God, heal this heartache
~Nodz
Sharing again 🙂
What comes in our mind when we hear the word halloween? Ghosts, souls, spirits, spooky houses are the common things, scary movies can be added. I won’t be talking more of this halloween things but instead the other ghost. I may call it, the ghost of the past –Memories that burn that come back to haunt and rob our peace of mind. Let me share something about my little boy, young as four years old, he went through five major surgeries already. It was extremely distressing traumatic but apparently for him seems it was nothing. Still, the bubbly little kid, just too brave to face everything. Whenever I looked back, I have this bitterness and anguish inside, how could this little sweet angel with a good heart has to suffer. Still, I can’t accept the kind of fate that’s written on his hand. Pain engraves a deeper memory but the goodness of God is helping me out slowly to move forward and let go. Like just any mother, I have to be remain strong.
There are certain guidelines…
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Your sun kisses hearts that cry,
gives hope, light to the dying soul.
As Your ocean calms our mind,
it teaches trust, whenever we fall.
As You silently watches us here,
we are safe, nothing to be feared.
~Nodz
I sit and gaze upon the light from a candle that burns
whispering a prayer, “Can you let my angel hold my hand?”
Scent of his love lingers, his voice echoes in my head,
How painful the seconds, every minute, and days can be,
to walk in an empty road alone full of his memories.
Oh God how much this heart misses him, it’s like a flame,
please send my deepest love, till that day I will see him.
~Nodz
One message God’s want to convey,
our faith and trust we must take.
Life’s road’s may be steep and rough,
just follow His trail and be tough.
There’ll be tears and pain along the way
he will cover us through these rain.
His invisible hands to lead and guide,
in our trip ahead, He’ll stay beside.
~Nodz
I’ve washed that dish a million times! My kitchen sink seems like a hole that I keep falling and can’t escape from. I wonder how many spoons and forks I’ve washed in the last ten years? And the laundry basket. It’s perpetually full! I’ll bet I could go to the dryer anytime, day or night, and find at least ten ragged towels, six wrinkled shiets, and twenty three socks, five of each have no mate. Who cares? – taken from Janice Kempe inspirational article.
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Some people are naturally positive and optimistic, whereas others tend to see the world in a more negative light and always think the glass is half-empty. It’s a reality we complain most of the time, everyday we grumble even without realizing it, the little things that normally happen to us like being stuck in a traffic jam or being turned down for a job, housechores needed to be done or in the middle of a busy hour in the office, battling the deadlines and yet so many phone calls distracting us. When my son died, it’ s not all about the grieving and the sadness, it taught me to value more each little things, the every moment with friends and family while I’m still here. So much beauty in the world waiting to be appreciated and noticed, just being alive alone is something to be grateful with, we still have the chance to fulfill our dreams, enjoy each God’s blessings and gifts with our friends and family, the things around us; new clothes, new gadgets, or by helping needy people through charity events. It’s up to us now 🙂
~Nodz
As I watch you from a distance, my heart sinks,
I can’t touch your hand, in this heart love speaks.
It echoes, runs through my vein, my soul cries,
in sadness you sneak, the part of my world dies.
~Nodz
I picked up the brush and started to paint the memories.
bringing back the colors, giving them a new life.
I could see black and gray, the images of tears and pain,
orange, red, our days of love and happy embrace.
I blended dark shades into light, to contrast every detail,
green to keep hope alive and blue to hold onto faith.
Your image in my thoughts, the years we spent together,
memories over the rainbow, I paint it whenever I miss.
~Nodz
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I am starting again to read old posts from my open diary …it’s where I can rewind some good memories with my boy, that’s all I have now, but I’m glad I did make one. Writing journals, lots of pictures of things we truly treasure, I suggest to keep.
Dear diary,
I might need a better strategy, a trick maybe on how to convince a stubborn and uncooperative little kid to take vitamins. I find it so difficult today 😦 and I was losing my patience, everyday is a battle. Our issue before was the taste itself, so I shifted to another brand, yet still, it didn’t work. He will just spit it out and run away. I do hate chasing. Last night, my lil soldier and I had this little agreement that he’ll take his medicines first thing in the morning in exchange of something he likes.My only mistake was, I didn’t put the agreement into writing and had it notarize lol *deep sigh, just in case! 😀. I was right, he forgot all about the agreement. Now, the bathing and the brushing time, I just had to drag him all the way to the bathroom, so many excuses that it pissed me off. I was freaking out and had lost all my powers. What a battling Thursday but still, a mother’s love prevails *Just with a sweet hug and a smile….”It’s alright sweetheart, we can do it later.”
**Entry written November 28, 2013
Kind of love, a safe haven,
it shelters me from rain.
In sadness, it gently speak,
a voice that erases fears.
Heart bond with a promise,
safe in loving embrace.
_________________________
As I get older, I see how much I’ve learned along the way, good things we can do to people, to ourselves, to our love ones even to not so good ones. Only one thing that has given me such an impact, the “unconditional love” -to give without hesitations, to share without doubts and I’ve seen this in a heart of a child…..in my son Raik…
Thank you so much my angel Raik in Heaven ! as long as I live mom will always remember and put it in heart ❤️
I want to share my favorite picture of my son Raik, my angel, and my thoughts…wondering what he’s doing up there in Heaven now, browsing lot of new books I guess 🙂 …….Missing him so much….
A very tiny sound that roars, often in a loud silence,
like bubbles in wind, floats but then it may disappear.
An inner strength we need to dig down, find and keep
A God’s gift we must use, for battles He equipped us.
Blood may shed, we’ll scream in tears but never to quit,
lead us to faith, His unseen hands will shape our fate.
~Nodz
_____________________
“I have fought it all during my life; I fight it now, and will do so until the end of my days” part of Nelson Mandela’s words that motivated me all these years, he has this very strong inner strength that really inspires me.
No matter what your circumstances or how you have handled them up till now, no matter what you have done or not done, I love you. I see your every tear. I hear your every cry for help. I feel your every heartache, your every sorrow, your every frustration, your every worry even your happiness. I know your every desire. I see straight through to your heart of hearts and all that is in it, and I love you more deeply than you can possibly comprehend.
I see your struggles and I want to help. Life is often a struggle, but it is made so much easier when you spiritually connect with ME. I have all the love and comfort and peace and solutions you seek. I can transform turmoil, emptiness, and disappointment into peace, plenty, and love. I am right here at your side waiting patiently for you to reach out to Me so I can relieved your troubled mind, dry your tears, and show you how much I love you. I’m just right by your side…
From your friend JESUS- with Love
____________
A letter of Jesus I found and read from an old magazine (Activated) while cleaning up our room and the pictures I got from a video from a song “The name lives on by David Phelps.. I’m sharing this to everyone. 🙂
~Nodz
IMAGE SOURCE: http://sheseeksserendipity.tumblr.com/
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Getting in touch with whatever pain we have – accepting it, feeling it, and sitting with it for a time is what will lead us to heal. We must keep going and never miss any beautiful things and wondeful people that truly cares for us. Patience is the key, there will be rocks along the way, just keep walking. Assuring ourselves that we will be okay in God’s time. Every after storm there’s always a sun that will rise.
~Nodz
Love is a heartbeat thing, it needs no quotes,
a warm touch of magic, like a song from Heaven.
Fathomless depths of feelings and emotions,
as when eyes, heart meet, there’s a sudden notion.
It screams to the core, it shoots like an arrow,
strength it gives, such a comfort, we’ll be relieved.
~Nodz
Image by: fanpop.com
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I tripped and fell on my knee last night, I panicked, ran and screamed. I was attacked by a flying cockroach, so disgusting. It was really a painful fall and I couldn’t get up, my dog “Kimi” heard me, hurriedly ran to rescue. I was touched, he killed the cockroach, then licked my knees and just sat beside till I was able to manage myself to stand up. Love is really a powerful thing. I remember my little angel now in Heaven, probably, he will do the same if he’s still here.
*Thank you so much “Kimi” my sweetheart dog 🙂
You are the brightest light of any candle
the tiny glow illuminates my lost soul.
My heart succumbs, this mind submits,
oh dear angel, my strength, my peace
One day I’ll walk beside through your light,
with you in paradise, we’ll gonna meet.
~Nodz
_______________________________
Missing an angel……
Sunset breaks, I hear it’s silent sigh,
dimness surrounds, my heart sinks,
kneeling to Heaven, comfort me here.
~Nodz
Time fleeting, things keep moving,
each day, in a second, phase changes.
Season is blowing, the world turning,
bits and pieces of our moment switches.
Embrace each flash and feel the flow,
dance with the sunset, kiss every sunrise,
Give a smile, a hug, let our love grow.
spread, share, shout it out now, time flies.
~Nodz
My favorite Ryan Farish 🙂
Gazing up at the clear sky, I’m feeling your heartbeat,
in this blank page, a new beginning, our new story.
Our memories be my plot, good times I want to repeat,
no more nightmares that keep on chasing upon me.
I’ll describe your strength from a rock on a flowing river,
love that gently splashing like waves to the shore.
Your character would wake up a part of soul that quiver,
from a broken heart, wounded spirit, pain no more.
~Nodz
I see you in the mirror, waving at me,
too close yet far, your love and strength I see.
Hear me I say, I am reaching for you,
I am lost, this heart wanders, carry me through.
I long to wish again, awake this soul,
fill my mind with new dreams that once stole.
Write me a story with chapters of hope,
paint my path with love and hues of the rainbow.
When will I see you again, old reflection?
An image of the past, once I was.
~Nodz
_____________________
Sometimes in life we come across so much hurt and pain that will try to break us, and lose ourselves. In the corner of our heart, there’s always this seeds of hope God sprinkles that awaits to sprout, grows, flourish, if we only allow. Trust God’s power to bring back one’s self.
Whenever we close our eyes, our story begins,
we can run miles to miles, use our wings,
will travel far, into time, places we never been,
we no longer feel the part of us that cries,
breaking the chain of seeing the hurt and lies,
no young, no old, no war, no more grieving.
no more fighting, only peace and love is leading,
putting anguish aside, throwing away hate.
Watching this world, I want to drown my sorrow,
any chance to change this man-made fate?
~Nodz
_____________________
My heart breaks whenever I watch the world in CNN, sometimes I rather just close my eyes and think the other way around. If only I could do something to stop the war, heal deadly diseases, change the world into a better place to live…..am I thinking too weird to carry the burden of this world? …May God bless the earth.
You are there hiding beneath dark gray cloud,
pouring out your tears, showing off your eyes.
Concealed inside your shell, away from crowd,
I’m counting every each drop as my heart dies.
How long will I wait, for you to listen, hear me.
mind turns, my spirit yearns, please come back.
~Nodz
___________________________
I am missing the sunshine, been weeks now we’re experiencing heavy rainfall. Sad to see people affected with floods, same with life storm, we hope, we pray, we wait for the sun to rise in our lives.
I dropped a tear today, nobody knows,
silent scream between the room walls.
Silky soft sheets hugging me tight,
rain drops on glass, can’t see the light.
Wish you could see this lonely place,
miss you here, your memories I chase.
~Nodz
It’s windy, she could hear the tinkling of a wind chime,
she sits alone, recollects her childhood fanciful reverie.
Princess waiting at the tower wall for a prince to climb,
pair of silver shoes, gown, wish to be granted by a fairy.
Someone could look deeper into her eyes, understand,
feelings she kept inside between heart, soul and mind.
Life isn’t a fairytale, just a someone can hold her hand,
through thick and thin, simply who can always remind-
“Let me be the one you call, I’m here, you are not alone”
~ Nodz
_______________
Reverie of a little girl…of a lady…of a woman….
New ray of light slowly coming out somewhere,
breathing now the peace, finding my way back.
Such a lonely road, a long journey I traveled,
I don’t want to go back anymore from that track.
The smiles of strangers, I’m starting to notice,
hearing their voices in the air now, its very clear.
I look ahead to all the dreams once I made,
will hold on hope again, I am no longer afraid.
~Nodz
Image by: writing.wikinut.com
The silence is creeping in, no one is around,
I hear you gently whispers, melody surrounds.
This heart is throbbing, is it real or a dream?
drown in pain, tears, drifted down the stream.
You light up a fire, woke me up from a sleep,
your song soothes beyond, it touches me deep.
I thank God above you are here, never leaves,
you painted a blue sky over spirit that grieves.
Calming the chaos, fixing clutter in my head,
my broken wing, now secured, ready to spread.
The groove, it makes me want to listen more,
the tempo gives strength, it hit me to the core.
Thank you for your heart with a beautiful song,
hear me out, a glance I could carry as I go along.
Some may come, stay and go but I don’t mind,
in my road, there’s a song and soul intertwined.
~Nodz
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There’s an article I read “Why Not Everyone Will Be There For You When You’re Grieving or Now I Know Who My Real Friends Are” by Kristie West, she answered most of my questions… how far would we go for a love and friendship, even in the most darkest of times…when one is grieving…a real friend is like a song…
