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Where’s the old smile gone…

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Used to be with simple things,
Watching the sun breaks and rises into day,
Staring at the moon that glows in its own way..

She never carries the loneliness she never had,
She reached out what’s pure, never thought of being sad,

Simple words and to listen were all she knew,
To be a shadow among the few.

She never imagined a picture fades over years
Or even a path lost in the middle of a maze.

Just a pen, a note, a song and a laugh
Nothing would ever go rough.

She looked over happiness as love within its reach,
She held hope as a dream and a wish.

But never expected the pain as big waves lash the shore,
All she wanted was to be loved, nothing more..

Still lost things at the end, time then was never been a friend
Yet she tried her best to mend, to pick up all the pieces but then

Season change, so as with her,
Tears may soon pass, she believed and from there,

She wanted to be remembered,
Not with the lost smile once she had,
But the old smile she once shared .

Nodz ~

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Remember This Day

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Voices starting to get unheard, we mourn,
selfishness and abuse of power manipulate and control.

Personal motives furnish with thorny scales,
pointed sharp spikes beneath the hearts and minds

Difficult to comprehend, the world must know,
this wall of raging flame between justice and fairness

Such power, not anyone could fight, fear rules,
All are helpless, cannot even defend one’s position

Rights and freedom ended, mark this day, be prepared,
 God says “Vengeance is mine I will repay”

~Nodz

 

I am grieving to what’s happening in our country today, our government shut down our largest TV Network, ABS-CBN, rejecting the license renewal. My bitter heart goes out to all thousand employees who will gonna lose jobs in the midst of pandemic crisis. God sees and hears. I am praying for people behind, they will be enlightened. Just heartless...

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Dark Valley

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Passing through a very deep dark valley,
walking barefoot along the lonely alley.
No lights, everything drenched in rain,
grieving heart screams in real pain.
Lost, seems there’s no God to look upon,
no arms to hold, lie awake till dawn.
Can’t quite  figure out why it’s happening
minds keep wandering, doubts aching.
No exact words to describe what’s inside
eyes will tell, we all need God’s light.

 

My heart cries for what is happening today,  I am praying for everyone. Let there be light, heal the world dear God.

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INNER STRENGTH

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A very tiny sound that roars, often in a loud silence,

like bubbles in wind, floats but then it may disappear.

An inner strength we need to dig down, find and keep

A God’s gift we must use, for battles He equipped us.

Blood may shed, we’ll scream in tears but never to quit,

lead us to faith, His unseen hands will shape our fate.

 

 

 

This is for a very dear friend, who’s fighting a hard battle with breast cancer. I can feel her deep pain and struggle and I feel so sorry for her. I truly believe in the midst of our every storm, God watches and has the great power to calm it. My prayer, a continuous strength for her to keep fighting. I am humbly asking for your prayers too,  her name is Lariza. Thank you so much… ~Nodz

 

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YOUR WIND

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Your wind here soothes me
Calms my aching heart and mind
You cleanse my being

~Nodz

 

Gloomy Friday with my cup of coffee, as I could hear the wind playing its own music, its a perfect time for me to write, get in touch with my  emotions and… continue my Udemy course online!   time spend alone can be some of the most productive time in our lives “I believe”… 

 

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My Little Space

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Missing you my little space, where my heart and thoughts collide,
Thinking If I can still write, please let me, even just a single line.

Sorry I detached myself then, shut my door, kept things under wrap,
Telling you,”I am fine”, putting my feelings safe, tightly strapped.

I thought I could leave, I was wrong, begging you, let me write more,
I can hear now, down inside this lost soul, a tiny voice starting to roar.

~Nodz

 

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WOMEN

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Your every heartbeat that speaks deep Love,
etched  with benevolence and real strength.
Incomparable, blessed, true gift from above,
patience is endless, to measure the length.

~Nodz

In celebration of International Women’s day, this is to recognize all women as pillars of strength for their families, communities and country. May God bless each of one of us, as we continue to serve as the “light.”

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Renewed

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Time to escape, put the reality aside, dig down this revery,
rest my head, lie down locked in an embrace, feel the sensation.
Been moving around for quite a while, letting go of a memory,
I need to find myself again to inscribe thoughts and emotions.
“oh it’s good to be back now renewed, filling up a blank page”

~Nodz

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My Prayer…

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Fierce hearts and the floating bitterness,
pain was immense, my soul is deeply crying.
Calm every fears, soothe our weariness,
the world is chained by fire, we are all dying.

Praying to you God, I indeed seen heartaches,
where is peace hiding, where is your light?
Hear our voices, sorrows we can no longer take,
give us “YOUR” strength, to continue our fight.

~Nodz

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Alone

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Shutting my eyes, sensing the melancholic stillness gripping the place,
I could hear silence and this thought starts racing to nothing.
I am thinking what the Heaven looks like, to feel an angel’s embrace,
let me hear the sound of the golden trumpet and the bells ringing.

As the wind flows through my veins, this sorrow marches out of the way,
there’s a spark of hope, I feel a river moving in my soul, a relief.
His wisdom speaks, a gentle voice that says, be calm, don’t be dismayed.
A rare quiet moment alone, thanking ABOVE, it eases the pain and grief.

~Nodz

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Taken from our place *hometown (personally captured) last March it’s a mountain resort, such a beautiful place to visit, so refreshing, I sat there for hours and just savored the moment alone…

 

 

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Mother’s Love

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Her unconditional love can never be questioned, just simply amazes,
the immeasurable greatness of gentleness and strength, not one is missing.
The kindness that lies within, her heart is like a lamp, light never ends,
she can endure enormous amount of pain, fight, her patience is unending.
Her heart is like a secret garden, once you are inside, you are safe,
she will carry you, wipe your tears, even cover you with her hidden wings.
A kind of woman, just standing behind, close to you, listening.. waiting
*HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO US  MOMS ALL OVER THE WORLD
“God bless us all”
~Nodz
mother-son
Photo credit :   alleghanync.com
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Feeling’s Back

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The glow in your eyes gently soothe the soul,
feeling the warmth of your touch, my heart leaps up,
Your love completes me and you make me whole,
but this is just a memory now hanging tightly wrapped.
Mind’s racing, again,the song plays, pulling me back,
hiding my feeling, the tears of longing as I walk a mile.
Mind speaks while heart grieves, I miss your smile.
~Nodz

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Suffering Simplifies Life

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<Reflection-Prayer>

Trials put our faith to the test.
No matter what its source or intensity, there’s something about suffering that simplifies life and draw us back to the basics. Invariably, especially during a time of intense trial,…. I go back to what I really believe. I return to the elementals such as prayer and dependence, like getting quiet and waiting on God. I remind myself, God is sovereign… this is no accident. He has plan and a purpose. Those thoughts give us hope beyond our trials.

Trials put pur faith to the tests as well as stretch our confidence in Him. They force us back to the bedrock of faith upon which our foundation rests, and this becomes a refining and necessary process.

<Hope again>
~Charles Swindoll

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Dear God
When it feels as if everything falls apart,
I will cling to the fact that you keep your word.
One thing you have promised is, in Heaven,
suffering will cease, never again will we grieve.
Help me to trust that you will deliver me from,
these tough times, see me through for your glory.
Amen.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope
we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

*HEBREWS 10:23

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Juggler

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Like most people today. I lead an active life. Often I feel like a one -woman-juggling act. Sometimes it get’s out of control-or rather, I get out of control. Recently, I found myself waking up in the morning, dreading to face the new day and my seemingly endless duties. My prayer time was sometimes suffering *sorry Lord 😦 overwhelmed with pressures. Yet, I kept taking on more and more….

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Get on, sun is up,
Gotta start moving
A toast and coffee’s in desk,
I’m now start thinking
A hidden voice saying,
“Slow down , just take your time”
Still, this clock loudly screaming

Time is up!, sun’s down
I must be home by now
To our door, feet leading me
To the fridge ,”let me see”
Kids asking what’s for dinner?
Giving them a wink, ” wait then”
Just slowly count one to ten

Alone now , my prayer time

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Greatest Love of All

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“I never knew how much love could hold my heart until a little voice called me “Mom”

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Remembering all mothers in the world, whose love is true, endless and unconditional, this one day isn’t enough to thank her..

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

I love you Mama….

GOD BLESS ALL MOMMIES!

“I never knew how much love could hold my heart until a little voice called me “Mom” ~ Nodz

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My Inspiration

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You were my hands, your good heart was my motivation,
your soul was my pen, it digs out long-buried emotions.

Whatever the weather, I never run out of words to write,
thoughts are flowing out in a quick glance at your smile.

As this fiery love inside of you reaches deep into my core,
I can touch the moon and stars, my heart will start to roar.

Not until the Heaven’s light came down, you needed to go,
no more phrases to rhyme, even a single picture to show.

Time passes, as the sun rises after sunset, night into day,
The mind starts speaking again, my imagination to play.

Finding my way back to try again, to rekindle the passion,
I will just gaze above and think of you….my  inspiration.

~Nodz

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Dear Jesus……(Send our love to Raik)

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How’s our dear  “brave little soldier” up  there in Heaven?,
an angel, our guardian with a halo and two golden wings,
Laughing, giggling, plays around, I know he’s happy again,
no more pain, he’s with YOU now, heart rejoices, sings.

Countless rainy days, summer passed, nothing’s change,
my star, a precious gem, one could ever blessed with.
That very day I heard his first cry, joy couldn’t be replaced,
beautiful memories; like his first walk, my heart bleeds.

Boy with an extraordinary kindness, goodness in his hand,
with strength, love, hope in heart as he embraced his fate.
His beautiful soul inspires and the broken spirits he mended,
we saw the world through his eyes, pure, real and great.

We miss him so much, if we could only hug him just now,
to wish him today, to see him again blowing a blue cake.
Tell him, we love him deeply, forever we will  make a vow,
far yet so close, love stays, a promise will never break.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN OUR ANGEL RAIK❤️

We love you so dearly…our dogs; your dogs are wagging their tails to send you their love as well..Keep watching over us.

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My Wishes and Dreams

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In peace, staring at the million stars lies my very heart,
looking for ones that appear the brightest, my wishes.
Putting my soul into, to believe, this plays the big part,
even how long I walk just to cross a thousand bridges.

The shimmering light be my lead, remind me each night,
and an angel to watch, I’m praying not to leave my side.
Touch my hand, lift my faith, let my dream hold me tight,
I will never give up, God and Heaven be my guide.

 

~Nodz

**Image Source: http://hd4desktop.com/70743-reach-for-the-stars/

 

 

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Thank you ❤️

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I thank the Heaven for this very special day,
truly my gift, the day I was given air to breathe.
Fresh chapter, my new journey starts today,
more faith, hope, strength lifted from beneath.
A prayer and my deep wish I softly whisper,
thank you so much dear God for another year❤️

~Nodz

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Blowing kisses to my Angel in Heaven, wish he’s here…..

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Your Journey…My Words….

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Do feel and listen to what it really says,
a loud thumping sound of a horse’s hoof.
Continous, running, a story that plays,
a fast beat, till it screams to wall and roof.

Whisper it to Heaven, tell all your fears,
It shed the rays of grace, breathe, be still.
It will embrace you, wipe all your tears.
God’s comfort, His hands you would feel.

Soul will be lifted, new song will be sung,
you will hear angel’s hum inside your heart.
Don’t give up, hear it from my own tongue,
been there, just stay, wait and never depart.

~Nodz

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Your Holiness

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For Pope Francis:

As I gazed on that bright white dress, the Heaven opened,
holiness speaks, the love and mercy of Christ has shown.
The crowd was rejoicing, eyes on the sky, faith strengthen,
hearing God’s messages penetrates down the very soul.
I lift my hands to you O God, thanking you, bless this man,
as he continues to spread Your words, guide your servant.

It was truly amazing and an unforgettable experience to witness Papal’s visit . Our dear Pope Francis thank you for visiting Philippines❤️ Salamat sa malasakit 🙏

~Nodz

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My List Of Things

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Image Source: inspirationwordslove.tumblr.com

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I am now starting filling up another blank page,
Give more love, fear less and continue to dream.

As the Heaven reminds me to keep up good deeds,
and be grateful enough even for little blessings.

I must add more faith and patience in every storm,
God will be my light and guide, my burning torch.

In each tick of the clock, I will make the most of it,
to bring more beauty, share goodness, hope to see.

~Nodz

 

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Was Alone..

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Looking back down her memory lane, it was all fine,
a life being surrounded by people and smiles.
Everyone she knew was there, moon and sea rhyme,
blowing their kisses, walking with her in miles.

A fierce storm came up and her boat slowly sinking,
grasping for help, praying she could feel a hand.
But she was alone, not even a single rope…nothing,
still ..she swam out with faith reaching the sand.

~Nodz

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Chasing My Sun

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Walking through that dark hidden valley, no one knows,
there’s a raging battle between heart and mind, it goes.
A nightmare I cannot escape with, my world is bleeding,
stuck inside this heart and it pierced through my being.
Letting it all go, taking a different route, it’s difficult to take.
my hands lifting to you  dear God, heal this heartache

~Nodz

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Ghost…of the past

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Sharing again 🙂

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What comes in our mind when we hear the word Halloween?  Ghosts, souls, spirits, spooky houses are the common things, scary movies can be added. I won’t be talking more of this Halloween thing but instead the other ghost. I may call it, the ghost of the past –Memories that burn that comes back to haunt and rob our peace of mind. Let me share something about my little boy, young as four years old, he went through five major surgeries already. It was extremely distressing traumatic but apparently for him seems it was nothing. Still, the bubbly little kid, just too brave to face everything. Whenever I looked back, I have this bitterness and anguish inside, how could this little sweet angel with a good heart has to suffer. Still, I can’t accept the kind of fate that’s written on his hand. Pain engraves a deeper memory but…

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A Candle That Burns

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I sit and gaze upon the light from a candle that burns
whispering a prayer, “Can you let my angel hold my hand?”
Scent of his love lingers, his voice echoes in my head,
How painful the seconds, every minute, and days can be,
to walk in an empty road alone full of his memories.
Oh God how much this heart misses him, it’s like a flame,
please send my deepest love, till that day I will see him.

~Nodz

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Along Our Way

One message God’s want to convey,
our faith and trust we must take.
Life’s road’s may be steep and rough,
just follow His trail and be tough.
There’ll be tears and pain along the way
he will cover us through these rain.
His invisible hands to lead and guide,
in our trip ahead, He’ll stay beside.

~Nodz

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“The Gifts And Blessings”- The Beauty Around Us

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I’ve washed that dish a million times! My kitchen sink seems like a hole that I keep falling and can’t escape from. I wonder how many spoons and forks I’ve washed in the last ten years? And the laundry basket. It’s perpetually full! I’ll bet I could go to the dryer anytime, day or night, and find at least ten ragged towels, six wrinkled shiets, and twenty three socks, five of each have no mate. Who cares?    – taken from Janice Kempe inspirational article.

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Some people are naturally positive and optimistic, whereas others tend to see the world in a more negative light and always think the glass is half-empty. It’s a reality we complain most of the time, everyday we grumble even without realizing it, the little things that normally happen to us like being stuck in a traffic jam or being turned down for a job, housechores needed to be done or in the middle of a busy hour in the office, battling the deadlines and yet so many phone calls distracting us. When my son died, it’ s not all about the grieving and the sadness, it taught  me to value more each little things, the every moment with friends and family while I’m still here. So much beauty in the world waiting to be appreciated and noticed, just being alive alone is something to be grateful with, we still have the chance to fulfill our dreams, enjoy each God’s blessings and  gifts with our friends and family, the things around us; new clothes, new gadgets, or by helping needy people through charity events. It’s up to us now 🙂

~Nodz

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Colors Of Memories

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I picked up the brush and started to paint the memories.
bringing back the colors, giving them a new life.
I could see black and gray, the images of tears and pain,
orange, red, our days of love and happy embrace.
I blended dark shades into light, to contrast every detail,
green to keep hope alive and blue to hold onto faith.
Your image in my thoughts, the years we spent together,
memories over the rainbow, I paint it whenever I miss.

~Nodz

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I am starting again to read old posts from my open diary …it’s where I can rewind some good memories with my boy, that’s all I have now, but I’m glad I did make one. Writing journals, lots of pictures of things we truly treasure, I suggest to keep.

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Dear diary,

I might need a better strategy, a trick maybe on how to convince a stubborn and uncooperative little kid to take vitamins. I find it so difficult today 😦 and I was losing my patience, everyday is a battle. Our issue before was the taste itself, so I shifted to another brand,  yet still, it didn’t work. He will just spit it out and run away. I do hate chasing. Last night, my lil soldier and I had this little agreement that he’ll take his medicines first thing in the morning in exchange of something he likes.My only mistake was, I didn’t  put the agreement into writing and had it notarize lol *deep sigh, just in case! 😀. I was right, he forgot all about the agreement. Now, the bathing and the brushing time, I just had to drag him all the way to the bathroom,  so many excuses that it pissed me off. I was freaking out and had lost all my powers. What a battling Thursday but still,  a mother’s love prevails *Just with a sweet hug and a smile….”It’s alright sweetheart, we can do it later.”

**Entry written November 28, 2013

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I Love You Not Because…

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Kind of love, a safe haven,
it shelters me from rain.
In sadness, it gently speak,
a voice that erases fears.
Heart bond with a promise,
safe in loving embrace.

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As I get older, I see how much I’ve learned along the way, good things we can do to people, to ourselves, to our love ones even to not so good ones. Only one thing that has given me such an impact, the “unconditional love” -to give without hesitations, to share without doubts and  I’ve seen this in a heart of a  child…..in my son Raik…

Thank you so much my angel Raik in Heaven !  as long as I live mom will always remember and put it in heart ❤️