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INSIDE YOUR SHELL..

As I watch you from a distance, my heart sinks,
I can’t touch your hand, in this heart love speaks.
It echoes, runs through my vein, my soul cries,
in sadness you sneak, the part of my world dies.

~Nodz

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Colors Of Memories

I picked up the brush and started to paint the memories.
bringing back the colors, giving them a new life.
I could see black and gray, the images of tears and pain,
orange, red, our days of love and happy embrace.
I blended dark shades into light, to contrast every detail,
green to keep hope alive and blue to hold onto faith.
Your image in my thoughts, the years we spent together,
memories over the rainbow, I paint it whenever I miss.

~Nodz

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I am starting again to read old posts from my open diary …it’s where I can rewind some good memories with my boy, that’s all I have now, but I’m glad I did make one. Writing journals, lots of pictures of things we truly treasure, I suggest to keep.

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Dear diary,

I might need a better strategy, a trick maybe on how to convince a stubborn and uncooperative little kid to take vitamins. I find it so difficult today 😦 and I was losing my patience, everyday is a battle. Our issue before was the taste itself, so I shifted to another brand,  yet still, it didn’t work. He will just spit it out and run away. I do hate chasing. Last night, my lil soldier and I had this little agreement that he’ll take his medicines first thing in the morning in exchange of something he likes.My only mistake was, I didn’t  put the agreement into writing and had it notarize lol *deep sigh, just in case! 😀. I was right, he forgot all about the agreement. Now, the bathing and the brushing time, I just had to drag him all the way to the bathroom,  so many excuses that it pissed me off. I was freaking out and had lost all my powers. What a battling Thursday but still,  a mother’s love prevails *Just with a sweet hug and a smile….”It’s alright sweetheart, we can do it later.”

**Entry written November 28, 2013

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I Love You Not Because…

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Kind of love, a safe haven,
it shelters me from rain.
In sadness, it gently speak,
a voice that erases fears.
Heart bond with a promise,
safe in loving embrace.

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As I get older, I see how much I’ve learned along the way, good things we can do to people, to ourselves, to our love ones even to not so good ones. Only one thing that has given me such an impact, the “unconditional love” -to give without hesitations, to share without doubts and  I’ve seen this in a heart of a  child…..in my son Raik…

Thank you so much my angel Raik in Heaven !  as long as I live mom will always remember and put it in heart ❤️

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Inner Strength

A very tiny sound that roars, often in a loud silence,
like bubbles in wind, floats but then it may disappear.
An inner strength we need to dig down, find and keep
A God’s gift we must use, for battles He equipped us.
Blood may shed, we’ll scream in tears but never to quit,
lead us to faith, His unseen hands will shape our fate.

~Nodz

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“I have fought it all during my life; I fight it now, and will do so until the end of my days” part of Nelson Mandela’s words that motivated me all these years, he has this very strong inner strength that really inspires me.