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Bittersweet

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The window opens, allowing the breeze to sweep across her face,
it made a fire, her soul lifted up, heart dances as she closed her eyes.
If only she could freeze the time, hold onto this moment, let it stay,
life that says, nothing stands still, everything moves, everything flies.

~Nodz

7

Feeling’s Back

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The glow in your eyes gently soothe the soul,
feeling the warmth of your touch, my heart leaps up,
Your love completes me and you make me whole,
but this is just a memory now hanging tightly wrapped.
Mind’s racing, again,the song plays, pulling me back,
hiding my feeling, the tears of longing as I walk a mile.
Mind speaks while heart grieves, I miss your smile.
~Nodz

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Suffering Simplifies Life

<Reflection-Prayer>

Trials put our faith to the test.
No matter what its source or intensity, there’s something about suffering that simplifies life and draw us back to the basics. Invariably, especially during a time of intense trial,…. I go back to what I really believe. I return to the elementals such as prayer and dependence, like getting quiet and waiting on God. I remind myself, God is sovereign… this is no accident. He has plan and a purpose. Those thoughts give us hope beyond our trials.

Trials put pur faith to the tests as well as stretch our confidence in Him. They force us back to the bedrock of faith upon which our foundation rests, and this becomes a refining and necessary process.

<Hope again>
~Charles Swindoll

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Dear God
When it feels as if everything falls apart,
I will cling to the fact that you keep your word.
One thing you have promised is, in Heaven,
suffering will cease, never again will we grieve.
Help me to trust that you will deliver me from,
these tough times, see me through for your glory.
Amen.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope
we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

*HEBREWS 10:23

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Juggler

Like most people today. I lead an active life. Often I feel like a one -woman-juggling act. Sometimes it get’s out of control-or rather, I get out of control. Recently, I found myself waking up in the morning, dreading to face the new day and my seemingly endless duties. My prayer time was sometimes suffering *sorry Lord 😦 overwhelmed with pressures. Yet, I kept taking on more and more….

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Get on, sun is up,
Gotta start moving
A toast and coffee’s in desk,
I’m now start thinking
A hidden voice saying,
“Slow down , just take your time”
Still, this clock loudly screaming

Time is up!, sun’s down
I must be home by now
To our door, feet leading me
To the fridge ,”let me see”
Kids asking what’s for dinner?
Giving them a wink, ” wait then”
Just slowly count one to ten

Alone now , my prayer time

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Greatest Love of All

“I never knew how much love could hold my heart until a little voice called me “Mom”

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Remembering all mothers in the world, whose love is true, endless and unconditional, this one day isn’t enough to thank her..

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

I love you Mama….

GOD BLESS ALL MOMMIES!

“I never knew how much love could hold my heart until a little voice called me “Mom” ~ Nodz

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My Inspiration

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You were my hands, your good heart was my motivation,
your soul was my pen, it digs out long-buried emotions.

Whatever the weather, I never run out of words to write,
thoughts are flowing out in a quick glance at your smile.

As this fiery love inside of you reaches deep into my core,
I can touch the moon and stars, my heart will start to roar.

Not until the Heaven’s light came down, you needed to go,
no more phrases to rhyme, even a single picture to show.

Time passes, as the sun rises after sunset, night into day,
The mind starts speaking again, my imagination to play.

Finding my way back to try again, to rekindle the passion,
I will just gaze above and think of you….my  inspiration.

~Nodz

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Dear Jesus……(Send our love to Raik)

🌹❤️🌹

How’s our dear “brave little soldier” up there in Heaven?,
an angel, our guardian with a halo and two golden wings,

Laughing, giggling, plays around, we know he’s happy again,
no more pain, he’s with YOU as his heart rejoices and sings.

Years ago, the day I heard his first cry, joy couldn’t be replaced,
His beautiful memories; the first walk I remember

Boy with an extraordinary kindness, goodness in his hand,
with strength, love, hope in heart, he embraced his fate.

His beautiful soul inspires, the broken spirits he mended,
we saw the world through his eyes, pure, real and great.

Extremely missing him, if we could only hug him to wish him today, to see him blowing his blue cake again.

Please tell him, we love him
He’s far yet so close, our love will forever stay, a promise would never ever break.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN OUR ANGEL RAIK❤️

We love you so dearly…our dogs; your dogs are wagging their tails to send you their love as well..Keep watching over us.

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4

My Wishes and Dreams

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In peace, staring at the million stars lies my very heart,
looking for ones that appear the brightest, my wishes.
Putting my soul into, to believe, this plays the big part,
even how long I walk just to cross a thousand bridges.

The shimmering light be my lead, remind me each night,
and an angel to watch, I’m praying not to leave my side.
Touch my hand, lift my faith, let my dream hold me tight,
I will never give up, God and Heaven be my guide.

 

~Nodz

**Image Source: http://hd4desktop.com/70743-reach-for-the-stars/

 

 

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Thank you ❤️

I thank the Heaven for this very special day,
truly my gift, the day I was given air to breathe.
Fresh chapter, my new journey starts today,
more faith, hope, strength lifted from beneath.
A prayer and my deep wish I softly whisper,
thank you so much dear God for another year❤️

~Nodz

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Blowing kisses to my Angel in Heaven, wish he’s here…..

4

Your Journey…My Words….

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Do feel and listen to what it really says,
a loud thumping sound of a horse’s hoof.
Continous, running, a story that plays,
a fast beat, till it screams to wall and roof.

Whisper it to Heaven, tell all your fears,
It shed the rays of grace, breathe, be still.
It will embrace you, wipe all your tears.
God’s comfort, His hands you would feel.

Soul will be lifted, new song will be sung,
you will hear angel’s hum inside your heart.
Don’t give up, hear it from my own tongue,
been there, just stay, wait and never depart.

~Nodz

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Your Holiness

For Pope Francis:

As I gazed on that bright white dress, the Heaven opened,
holiness speaks, the love and mercy of Christ has shown.
The crowd was rejoicing, eyes on the sky, faith strengthen,
hearing God’s messages penetrates down the very soul.
I lift my hands to you O God, thanking you, bless this man,
as he continues to spread Your words, guide your servant.

It was truly amazing and an unforgettable experience to witness Papal’s visit . Our dear Pope Francis thank you for visiting Philippines❤️ Salamat sa malasakit 🙏

~Nodz

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2

My List Of Things

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Image Source: inspirationwordslove.tumblr.com

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I am now starting filling up another blank page,
Give more love, fear less and continue to dream.

As the Heaven reminds me to keep up good deeds,
and be grateful enough even for little blessings.

I must add more faith and patience in every storm,
God will be my light and guide, my burning torch.

In each tick of the clock, I will make the most of it,
to bring more beauty, share goodness, hope to see.

~Nodz

 

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Was Alone..

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Looking back down her memory lane, it was all fine,
a life being surrounded by people and smiles.
Everyone she knew was there, moon and sea rhyme,
blowing their kisses, walking with her in miles.

A fierce storm came up and her boat slowly sinking,
grasping for help, praying she could feel a hand.
But she was alone, not even a single rope…nothing,
still ..she swam out with faith reaching the sand.

~Nodz

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Chasing My Sun

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Walking through that dark hidden valley, no one knows,
there’s a raging battle between heart and mind, it goes.
A nightmare I cannot escape with, my world is bleeding,
stuck inside this heart and it pierced through my being.
Letting it all go, taking a different route, it’s difficult to take.
my hands lifting to you  dear God, heal this heartache

~Nodz

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Ghost…of the past

Sharing again 🙂

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What comes in our mind when we hear the word Halloween?  Ghosts, souls, spirits, spooky houses are the common things, scary movies can be added. I won’t be talking more of this Halloween thing but instead the other ghost. I may call it, the ghost of the past –Memories that burn that comes back to haunt and rob our peace of mind. Let me share something about my little boy, young as four years old, he went through five major surgeries already. It was extremely distressing traumatic but apparently for him seems it was nothing. Still, the bubbly little kid, just too brave to face everything. Whenever I looked back, I have this bitterness and anguish inside, how could this little sweet angel with a good heart has to suffer. Still, I can’t accept the kind of fate that’s written on his hand. Pain engraves a deeper memory but…

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2

A Candle That Burns

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I sit and gaze upon the light from a candle that burns
whispering a prayer, “Can you let my angel hold my hand?”
Scent of his love lingers, his voice echoes in my head,
How painful the seconds, every minute, and days can be,
to walk in an empty road alone full of his memories.
Oh God how much this heart misses him, it’s like a flame,
please send my deepest love, till that day I will see him.

~Nodz

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Along Our Way

One message God’s want to convey,
our faith and trust we must take.
Life’s road’s may be steep and rough,
just follow His trail and be tough.
There’ll be tears and pain along the way
he will cover us through these rain.
His invisible hands to lead and guide,
in our trip ahead, He’ll stay beside.

~Nodz

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“The Gifts And Blessings”- The Beauty Around Us

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I’ve washed that dish a million times! My kitchen sink seems like a hole that I keep falling and can’t escape from. I wonder how many spoons and forks I’ve washed in the last ten years? And the laundry basket. It’s perpetually full! I’ll bet I could go to the dryer anytime, day or night, and find at least ten ragged towels, six wrinkled shiets, and twenty three socks, five of each have no mate. Who cares?    – taken from Janice Kempe inspirational article.

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Some people are naturally positive and optimistic, whereas others tend to see the world in a more negative light and always think the glass is half-empty. It’s a reality we complain most of the time, everyday we grumble even without realizing it, the little things that normally happen to us like being stuck in a traffic jam or being turned down for a job, housechores needed to be done or in the middle of a busy hour in the office, battling the deadlines and yet so many phone calls distracting us. When my son died, it’ s not all about the grieving and the sadness, it taught  me to value more each little things, the every moment with friends and family while I’m still here. So much beauty in the world waiting to be appreciated and noticed, just being alive alone is something to be grateful with, we still have the chance to fulfill our dreams, enjoy each God’s blessings and  gifts with our friends and family, the things around us; new clothes, new gadgets, or by helping needy people through charity events. It’s up to us now 🙂

~Nodz

2

Colors Of Memories

I picked up the brush and started to paint the memories.
bringing back the colors, giving them a new life.
I could see black and gray, the images of tears and pain,
orange, red, our days of love and happy embrace.
I blended dark shades into light, to contrast every detail,
green to keep hope alive and blue to hold onto faith.
Your image in my thoughts, the years we spent together,
memories over the rainbow, I paint it whenever I miss.

~Nodz

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I am starting again to read old posts from my open diary …it’s where I can rewind some good memories with my boy, that’s all I have now, but I’m glad I did make one. Writing journals, lots of pictures of things we truly treasure, I suggest to keep.

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Dear diary,

I might need a better strategy, a trick maybe on how to convince a stubborn and uncooperative little kid to take vitamins. I find it so difficult today 😦 and I was losing my patience, everyday is a battle. Our issue before was the taste itself, so I shifted to another brand,  yet still, it didn’t work. He will just spit it out and run away. I do hate chasing. Last night, my lil soldier and I had this little agreement that he’ll take his medicines first thing in the morning in exchange of something he likes.My only mistake was, I didn’t  put the agreement into writing and had it notarize lol *deep sigh, just in case! 😀. I was right, he forgot all about the agreement. Now, the bathing and the brushing time, I just had to drag him all the way to the bathroom,  so many excuses that it pissed me off. I was freaking out and had lost all my powers. What a battling Thursday but still,  a mother’s love prevails *Just with a sweet hug and a smile….”It’s alright sweetheart, we can do it later.”

**Entry written November 28, 2013

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I Love You Not Because…

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Kind of love, a safe haven,
it shelters me from rain.
In sadness, it gently speak,
a voice that erases fears.
Heart bond with a promise,
safe in loving embrace.

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As I get older, I see how much I’ve learned along the way, good things we can do to people, to ourselves, to our love ones even to not so good ones. Only one thing that has given me such an impact, the “unconditional love” -to give without hesitations, to share without doubts and  I’ve seen this in a heart of a  child…..in my son Raik…

Thank you so much my angel Raik in Heaven !  as long as I live mom will always remember and put it in heart ❤️

2

Inner Strength

A very tiny sound that roars, often in a loud silence,
like bubbles in wind, floats but then it may disappear.
An inner strength we need to dig down, find and keep
A God’s gift we must use, for battles He equipped us.
Blood may shed, we’ll scream in tears but never to quit,
lead us to faith, His unseen hands will shape our fate.

~Nodz

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“I have fought it all during my life; I fight it now, and will do so until the end of my days” part of Nelson Mandela’s words that motivated me all these years, he has this very strong inner strength that really inspires me.

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My Dearest One,

No matter what your circumstances or how you have handled them up till now, no matter what you have done or not done, I love you. I see your every tear. I hear your every cry for help. I feel your every heartache, your every sorrow, your every frustration, your every worry even your happiness. I know your every desire. I see straight through to your heart of hearts and all that is in it, and I love you more deeply than you can possibly comprehend.
I see your struggles and I want to help. Life is often a struggle, but it is made so much easier when you spiritually connect with ME. I have all the love and comfort and peace and solutions you seek. I can transform turmoil, emptiness, and disappointment into peace, plenty, and love. I am right here at your side waiting patiently for you to reach out to Me so I can relieved your troubled mind, dry your tears, and show you how much I love you. I’m just right by your side…

From your friend JESUS- with Love

 

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A letter of Jesus I found and read  from an old magazine (Activated) while cleaning up our room and the pictures I got from a video from a song “The name lives on by David Phelps.. I’m sharing this to everyone. 🙂

~Nodz

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Be Gentle

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IMAGE SOURCE: http://sheseeksserendipity.tumblr.com/

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Getting in touch with whatever pain we have – accepting it, feeling it, and sitting with it for a time is what will lead us to heal. We must keep going and never miss any beautiful things and wondeful people that truly cares for us. Patience is the key, there will be rocks along the way, just keep walking.  Assuring ourselves that we will be okay in God’s time. Every after storm there’s always a sun that will rise.

~Nodz

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The Love In Your Eyes

Love is a heartbeat thing, it needs no quotes,
a warm touch of magic, like a song from Heaven.
Fathomless depths of feelings and emotions,
as when eyes, heart meet, there’s a sudden notion.
It screams to the core, it shoots like an arrow,
strength it gives, such a comfort, we’ll be relieved.

~Nodz

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 Image by:  fanpop.com

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I tripped and fell on my knee last night, I panicked, ran and screamed. I was attacked by a flying cockroach, so disgusting. It was really a painful fall and I couldn’t get up, my dog “Kimi” heard me, hurriedly ran to rescue. I was touched, he killed the cockroach, then licked my knees and just sat beside till I was able to manage myself to stand up. Love is really a powerful thing. I remember my little angel now in Heaven, probably, he will do the same if he’s still here. 

*Thank you so much  “Kimi” my sweetheart dog 🙂

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Life Moves..

Time fleeting, things keep moving,
each day, in a second, phase changes.
Season is blowing, the world turning,
bits and pieces of our moment switches.
Embrace each flash and feel the flow,
dance with the sunset, kiss every sunrise,
Give a smile, a hug, let our love grow.
spread, share, shout it out now, time flies.

~Nodz

My favorite Ryan Farish 🙂

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A Story Goes On

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Gazing up at the clear sky, I’m feeling your heartbeat,
in this blank page, a new beginning, our new story.
Our memories be my plot, good times I want to repeat,
no more nightmares that keep on chasing upon me.
I’ll describe your strength from a rock on a flowing river,
love that gently splashing like waves to the shore.
Your character would wake up a part of soul that quiver,
from a broken heart, wounded spirit, pain no more.

~Nodz

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Reflection

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I see you in the mirror, waving at me,
too close yet far, your love and strength I see.
Hear me I say, I am reaching for you,
I am lost, this heart wanders, carry me through.
I long to wish again, awake this soul,
fill my mind with new dreams that once stole.
Write me a story with chapters of hope,
paint my path with love and hues of the rainbow.
When will I see you again,  old reflection?
An image of the past,  once I was.

~Nodz
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Sometimes in life we come across so much hurt and pain that will try to break us, and lose ourselves. In the corner of our heart, there’s always this seeds of hope God sprinkles that awaits to sprout, grows, flourish, if we only allow. Trust God’s power to bring back one’s self.

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Love Will Lead

Whenever we close our eyes, our story begins,
we can run miles to miles, use our wings,
will travel far, into time, places we never been,
we no longer feel the part of us that cries,
breaking the chain of seeing the hurt and lies,
no young, no old, no war, no more grieving.
no more fighting, only peace and love is leading,
putting anguish aside, throwing away hate.
Watching this world, I want to drown my sorrow,
any chance to change this man-made fate?

~Nodz

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_____________________

 

 

 

2

My Sun

You are there hiding beneath dark gray cloud,
pouring out your tears, showing off your eyes.
Concealed inside your shell, away from crowd,
I’m counting every each drop as my heart dies.
How long will I wait, for you to listen, hear me.
mind turns, my spirit yearns, please come back.

~Nodz

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I am missing the sunshine, been weeks now we’re experiencing heavy rainfall. Sad to see people affected with floods, same with life storm, we hope, we pray, we wait for the sun to rise in our lives.

2

Her Reverie

It’s windy, she could hear the tinkling of a wind chime,
she sits alone, recollects her childhood fanciful reverie.
Princess waiting at the tower wall for a prince to climb,
pair of silver shoes, gown, wish to be granted by a fairy.
Someone could look deeper into her eyes, understand,
feelings she kept inside between heart, soul and mind.
Life isn’t a fairytale, just a someone can hold her hand,
through thick and thin, simply who can always remind-
“Let me be the one you call, I’m here, you are not alone”

~ Nodz

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Reverie of  a little girl…of a lady…of a woman….

2

The Ray of Light

New ray of light slowly coming out somewhere,
breathing now the peace, finding my way back.
Such a lonely road, a long journey I traveled,
I don’t want to go back anymore from that track.
The smiles of strangers, I’m starting to notice,
hearing their voices in the air now, its very clear.
I look ahead to all the dreams once I made,
will hold on hope again, I am no longer afraid.

~Nodz

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Image by: writing.wikinut.com

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You Are My Song

The silence is creeping in, no one is around,
I hear you gently whispers, melody surrounds.
This heart is throbbing, is it real or a dream?
drown in pain, tears, drifted down the stream.

You light up a fire, woke me up from asleep,
your song soothes beyond, it touches me deeply.
I thank God above you are here, never leaves,
you painted a blue sky over the spirit that grieves.

Calming the chaos, fixing clutter in my head,
my broken wing, now secured, ready to spread.
The groove, it makes me want to listen more,
the tempo gives strength, it hit me to the core.

Thank you for your heart with a beautiful song,
hear me out, a glance I could carry as I go along.
Some may come, stay and go but I don’t mind,
in my road, there’s a song and soul intertwined.

~Nodz

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There’s an article I read “Why Not Everyone Will Be There For You When You’re Grieving or Now I Know Who My Real Friends Are” by Kristie West, she answered most of my questions… how far would we go  for a love and  friendship, even in  the most darkest of times…when one is  grieving…a real friend is like a song…

 

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Never Judge

 

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Most often we based things on our first impression, we tend to judge or criticize them right away. Yesterday I went to a salon to have a haircut, the last one I had last summer I could say, a disaster, my hair was badly layered. I’ve waited a few months to grow and  have it fix again. This time it’s a male hairstylist who did, I  never been tried in a male hairstylist before. I got scared and doubted, though I gave my instructions, he was able to do it the way I wanted and I learned from other salon staff, he was one of the best, well I should  say ” never judge a book by it’s cover”, just a thought! 🙂

~ Nodz

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Empty Words

She entered a holy place, she looked around,
different emotions standing on the ground.
She was carrying a heavy load inside her head.
a heart with a story, pain and tears she shed.
God’s hymn echoed, a guiding light we all seek,
to heal and strengthen us when we’re weak.

She felt an angel sat beside, imagining the face,
the Heaven sent this angel to show her the way.
She could hardly utter a word, didn’t know why,
all things bottled up in a corner down inside.
A heart in silence, she knows God understands,
One who sees, touched her pain with His hands.

~Nodz

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Sometimes it’s difficult to pray, this happens when life is hard and things are too much to bear but God sees, listens and understands.

 

 

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You’re My Shelter

You’re the words that living inside,
spreading my wings to fly, soar high.
You are my escape, my shelter,
you’ve given the dying heart a new life.
Alone in my world, you’re beside,
your beautiful thoughts, keeps me alive.
Even you’re just a shadow from afar,
you ingnite this weary mind with fire.
Your eyes that speaks a thousands,
a soul that’s full of love and emotions.

Nodz

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Just a piece of writing can capture a heart, inspire and motivate. This one  particular blog I often visit to check and read had helped me through the most difficult times in my life. His words are so impressive and full of wisdom. Thank you beautiful soul.

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The Storm

You’ve blown it with your anger,
wound you inflicted, too deep.
I heard you screaming somewhere,
fiercely dragged us and ripped.
Were you telling us something?
a message, reminding us to think.

~Nodz

 

We were  intensely hit  last July 16, 2014 by a typhoon. Thank God my family was safe, prayers for those affected. I could relate this in life, whenever we experience storms, the moment it roll in, it give us an important message, to be more prayerful to strengthen our faith and trust to God.

5

I Can Hear You

The silence in between I can read your story,
fears dripping from the eyes, your mind screams.
At a loss for words, drowning in a memory,
you hide, sits alone longingly dreams.
I can’t find words to say, strength to begin,
but my heart’s with you, give me all your tears.
When darkness is upon your door, let me in,
I’ll be by your side, we will wait till the sun appears.

~Nodz

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Most of the time when we’re in deep pain, we hide in silence, the people who can hear the pain  or listens to  what’s not being said are the ones who truly care and  understand.

 

11

Little Things That Are Big

 

We seldom realize how big, little things are until it all gone, passed,
life’s too short, hold on to people so dear, you care about today.
Never waste any time, savor each moment,  they may gone in a flash.
Hug them, never forget to tell them your three words everyday.
Time flies,  goes by so quickly, people go, only one thing will remain,
not a small thing, one that stands alone, Love, that explains all.

~Nodz

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Dear Diary,

Sundays are what they are meant to be: spending quality time with family. Our Sunday was spent outside, letting our lil soldier to choose and decide where he wants to go first, since I had an appointment with my dentist at 3 pm, it has to be done. We left the house around 11 am and had to go for a lunch then in  an hour or two, we’re going straight to their favorite place.. The one last request of our lil soldier before we left ,  two toy gun he’s eyeing since he first saw those, then a fruity mentos / tictac candy and a small blue rosary. A blue Rosary- I’m still thinking and wondering up to now, why he requested . He wore it after I paid it. We went straight to the dentist afterwards, then  reminded us all of a sudden that we will be gonna late for the Holy Mass. For a little kid, it’s unusual and strange to do such things. He was well behaved inside the church, just listening and singing, he never complained for the first time though he whispered he’s feeling hungry, he just waited. There was this annointing of oil after, he participated and told me to annoint as well. I could felt then how Raik misses simple things like this. Most of the time, we spent Sundays in hospital, every week. When on our way home after dinner, he whispered something and smilingly said; “I’m happy mom, all done” then he kissed me. Couldn’t hold back my tears. I hugged him and I said; “We will have plenty of next time I promise.

~Mom

 

 

***My  last entry in my open diary dated December 2, 2013, the following week my lil soldier  earned his wings..

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One’s Story

In hidden depths,
of one’s soul.
In a secret chamber,
where no one knows.
In hearts we find,
pain so deep as the sea.
Beneath the mind
we want to be free.

Thing we can’t let go,
here down inside.
Piece of the story untold,
recurrently remind.
Clashing and fuming,
we chase for peace.
In silence, we just hide,
we drop tears to release.

~Nodz

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Everyone has a story…inside…

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Tala *~

The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars….

 

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“A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done. But what’s yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it’ll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won’t have to put it back in the sky again.”
― C. JoyBell C.