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Alone

Shutting my eyes, sensing the melancholic stillness gripping the place,
I could hear silence and this thought starts racing to nothing.
I am thinking what the Heaven looks like, to feel an angel’s embrace,
let me hear the sound of the golden trumpet and the bells ringing.

As the wind flows through my veins, this sorrow marches out of the way,
there’s a spark of hope, I feel a river moving in my soul, a relief.
His wisdom speaks, a gentle voice that says, be calm, don’t be dismayed.
A rare quiet moment alone, thanking ABOVE, it eases the pain and grief.

~Nodz

 

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Taken from our place *hometown (personally captured) last March it’s a mountain resort, such a beautiful place to visit, so refreshing, I sat there for hours and just savored the moment alone…

 

 

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Suffering Simplifies Life

<Reflection-Prayer>

Trials put our faith to the test.
No matter what its source or intensity, there’s something about suffering that simplifies life and draw us back to the basics. Invariably, especially during a time of intense trial,…. I go back to what I really believe. I return to the elementals such as prayer and dependence, like getting quiet and waiting on God. I remind myself, God is sovereign… this is no accident. He has plan and a purpose. Those thoughts give us hope beyond our trials.

Trials put pur faith to the tests as well as stretch our confidence in Him. They force us back to the bedrock of faith upon which our foundation rests, and this becomes a refining and necessary process.

<Hope again>
~Charles Swindoll

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Dear God
When it feels as if everything falls apart,
I will cling to the fact that you keep your word.
One thing you have promised is, in Heaven,
suffering will cease, never again will we grieve.
Help me to trust that you will deliver me from,
these tough times, see me through for your glory.
Amen.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope
we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

*HEBREWS 10:23

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Looking Back…and moving on..

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It’s been more than a year now, since our son left us, left this world and peacefully earned his angel wings, now safe and secure in the hands of God. It takes courage for me now to look back and reminisce each details again, write my feelings about it. How am I now? Our life was not all been plain sailing, it was rough and bumpy ride, nevertheless I have more miles to cross to reach my healing destination. All these time, I harbored all the feelings; my devastations, frustrations, anxieties even my anger. I was in the state of harbination, moved to somewhere a lot quieter for a while, away from the crowd, from the noise, chose to be with my family alone and God, I tried to cope all the times that had been lost. I may scare some people If I would keep on sharing our grief telling the universe how harrowing it was losing a child, yeah, they would listen to your drama but not all the time, some would not be able to fully perceive or understand what’s going on with your heart. Nothing’s change, I still grieve on same sentiments, still have my “what if’s ” and missing my son each day is really tough and agonizing. It’s not easy but taking just one step slower would bring me to a goal, fulfilling what I have promised. My son had a rare vascular condition, wherein he needed a blood transfusion regularly to extend his life. I got so overwhelmed by many entangled questions, simply to know his condition wasn’t enough. I did lots of research to get more informations. I connected with some people with kids having the same case around the globe, they  assisted  me of  informations that could help and  and I was able to send his medical records to US.  Feel blessed I got recommendations but for some reasons things didn’t happen the way what’s supposed to be done, things didn’t materialize as we hoped, his struggles continued. In life how much we try to do our best for something if things are not meant, we can’t do anything. Only God has the last word for everything. When my son took his last breath I made this one “big promise ” to continue his kindness and generosity, I must do something in his behalf one day.  I know God and my angel are guiding me, leading me to where to  start, torn between the pain, desperation of yesterday, and my promise, one thing now is very sure that I know, God wants me to continue…

Just a share…

~Nodz

 

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Thank you ❤️

I thank the Heaven for this very special day,
truly my gift, the day I was given air to breathe.
Fresh chapter, my new journey starts today,
more faith, hope, strength lifted from beneath.
A prayer and my deep wish I softly whisper,
thank you so much dear God for another year❤️

~Nodz

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Blowing kisses to my Angel in Heaven, wish he’s here…..

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My List Of Things

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Image Source: inspirationwordslove.tumblr.com

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I am now starting filling up another blank page,
Give more love, fear less and continue to dream.

As the Heaven reminds me to keep up good deeds,
and be grateful enough even for little blessings.

I must add more faith and patience in every storm,
God will be my light and guide, my burning torch.

In each tick of the clock, I will make the most of it,
to bring more beauty, share goodness, hope to see.

~Nodz

 

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My Sun

You are there hiding beneath dark gray cloud,
pouring out your tears, showing off your eyes.
Concealed inside your shell, away from crowd,
I’m counting every each drop as my heart dies.
How long will I wait, for you to listen, hear me.
mind turns, my spirit yearns, please come back.

~Nodz

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___________________________

I am missing the sunshine, been weeks now we’re experiencing heavy rainfall. Sad to see people affected with floods, same with life storm, we hope, we pray, we wait for the sun to rise in our lives.

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My Reflection

We’re  home now from hospital stay and I thank God above…

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Undimmed a reflection I see,
in smile, in deep seated eyes,
somewhat your thin disguise.

With your two broken wings,
unable to lift off and fly high,
yet eyes still fixed on the sky.

With a tremendous courage,
A brave heart filled with hope,
faith, holding on same rope.

A blessed kind, my little one,
both of us….never retreated,
..thus, you’re never defeated.

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

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Where’s the old smile gone..

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Used to be with simple things,
Watching the sun breaks and rises into day,
Staring at the moon that glows in its own way..

She never carries the loneliness she never had,
She reached out what’s pure, never thought of being sad,

Simple words and to listen were all she knew,
To be a shadow among the few.

She never imagined a picture fades over years
Or even a path lost in the middle of a maze.

Just a pen, a note, a song and a laugh
Nothing would ever go rough.

She looked over happiness as love within its reach,
She held hope as a dream and a wish.

But never expected the pain as big waves lash the shore,
All she wanted was to be loved, nothing more..

Still lost things at the end, time then was never been a friend
Yet she tried her best to mend, to pick up all the pieces but then

Season change, so as with her,
Tears may soon pass, she believed and from there,

She wanted to be remembered,
Not with the lost smile once she had,
But the old smile she once shared .

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

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Sunshine

My favorite Ryan Farish ♥

I find his music easy to put words into ,to describe something from the melody but it’s up to the listener, how he will done it.
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I find this song happy, speaks about life, moving on

Whenever I glance above the light
It always remind me to hold on tight
In my endless road
In my continuing journey
HOPE….
my stronghold key…

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~