The window opens, allowing the breeze to sweep across her face,
it made a fire, her soul lifted up, heart dances as she closed her eyes.
If only she could freeze the time, hold onto this moment, let it stay,
life that says, nothing stands still, everything moves, everything flies.
It’s been more than a year now, since our son left us, left this world and peacefully earned his angel wings, now safe and secure in the hands of God. It takes courage for me now to look back and reminisce each details again, write my feelings about it. How am I now? Our life was not all been plain sailing, it was rough and bumpy ride, nevertheless I have more miles to cross to reach my healing destination. All these time, I harbored all the feelings; my devastations, frustrations, anxieties even my anger. I was in the state of harbination, moved to somewhere a lot quieter for a while, away from the crowd, from the noise, chose to be with my family alone and God, I tried to cope all the times that had been lost. I may scare some people If I would keep on sharing our grief telling the universe how harrowing it was losing a child, yeah, they would listen to your drama but not all the time, some would not be able to fully perceive or understand what’s going on with your heart. Nothing’s change, I still grieve on same sentiments, still have my “what if’s ” and missing my son each day is really tough and agonizing. It’s not easy but taking just one step slower would bring me to a goal, fulfilling what I have promised. My son had a rare vascular condition, wherein he needed a blood transfusion regularly to extend his life. I got so overwhelmed by many entangled questions, simply to know his condition wasn’t enough. I did lots of research to get more informations. I connected with some people with kids having the same case around the globe, they assisted me of informations that could help and and I was able to send his medical records to US. Feel blessed I got recommendations but for some reasons things didn’t happen the way what’s supposed to be done, things didn’t materialize as we hoped, his struggles continued. In life how much we try to do our best for something if things are not meant, we can’t do anything. Only God has the last word for everything. When my son took his last breath I made this one “big promise ” to continue his kindness and generosity, I must do something in his behalf one day. I know God and my angel are guiding me, leading me to where to start, torn between the pain, desperation of yesterday, and my promise, one thing now is very sure that I know, God wants me to continue…
Just a share…
Time fleeting, things keep moving,
each day, in a second, phase changes.
Season is blowing, the world turning,
bits and pieces of our moment switches.
Embrace each flash and feel the flow,
dance with the sunset, kiss every sunrise,
Give a smile, a hug, let our love grow.
spread, share, shout it out now, time flies.
My favorite Ryan Farish 🙂
You are there hiding beneath dark gray cloud,
pouring out your tears, showing off your eyes.
Concealed inside your shell, away from crowd,
I’m counting every each drop as my heart dies.
How long will I wait, for you to listen, hear me.
mind turns, my spirit yearns, please come back.
I am missing the sunshine, been weeks now we’re experiencing heavy rainfall. Sad to see people affected with floods, same with life storm, we hope, we pray, we wait for the sun to rise in our lives.
You’re the words that living inside,
spreading my wings to fly, soar high.
You are my escape, my shelter,
you’ve given the dying heart a new life.
Alone in my world, you’re beside,
your beautiful thoughts, keeps me alive.
Even you’re just a shadow from afar,
you ingnite this weary mind with fire.
Your eyes that speaks a thousands,
a soul that’s full of love and emotions.
Just a piece of writing can capture a heart, inspire and motivate. This one particular blog I often visit to check and read had helped me through the most difficult times in my life. His words are so impressive and full of wisdom. Thank you beautiful soul.
You’ve blown it with your anger,
wound you inflicted, too deep.
I heard you screaming somewhere,
fiercely dragged us and ripped.
Were you telling us something?
a message, reminding us to think.
I took this vid at home, in veranda during the typhoon, we were intensely hit last July 16, 2014. Thank God my family was safe, prayers for those affected. I could relate this in life, whenever we experience storms, the moment it roll in, it give us an important message, to be more prayerful to strengthen our faith and trust to God.
It’s really amazing what dogs can do to human.
After the loss of our boy, days was not easy. I couldn’t even imagine before, a life without my son, how to start each day without his presence. It was just a bark of a furry little friend that changed it all…a Terrier mix our “Kimi”. Before Kimi came, I asked my son in prayer if he could give mommy anything, for me to feel his presence. I was walking near my mom’s house, caught her beautiful eyes in a little cage with other puppies, she was different from the rest. My prayer got answered.
I brought her home. Her first time to travel in a plane. With my heavy heart, she made things easy. Now, she’s my everyday happiness, my emotional support, even though our little boy isn’t here anymore to cuddle and hug Kimi and how we miss him each day… I know he’s smiling up there and as an angel to watch her and us everyday.
How you looked deep into my eyes,
you touched this broken heart, soul of mine.
As you wag your tail, sadness flies,
your bark that says, stay strong, you’ll be fine.
Thank you “God”, our angel “Raik” and “Kimi”
…. that gives chance to help transform someone’s life…fears too hope..sadness to joy…hate to LOVE….
I don’t hear any sound, a word nor phrase
but your grace speak out loud, it tells-
Living can be that simple, no dream to chase,
go with the flow, where real peace dwells.
Time is not necessary, you just let days go by,
seems that God telling me the same thing,
how to take things easy as He control and supply,
if we only let Him lead and do the swimming.
This pond of Koi beside our church mesmerizes me each time. Looking at those Koi, it’s just awesome, it teaches me something..
A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter:
“Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” The little girl said:
“No, Dad. You hold my hand.”
“What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father.
“There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl.
“If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.”
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours…
I just want to see what awaits at the end,
pressure pushing me down, life’s teasing me again.
Having this second thought if I will just stay,
to protect myself from rain and winds along the way.
Thinking it over thrice may be a good notion.
Consulting the One Above I guess is the right action.
We need not to rely on ourselves alone when it comes to big decisions, consulting the best One Above can give the best suggestions.
Taking my last glimpse on that cold winter day,
the journey I had, filled with struggles and pain.
Individually we’re given life we must embrace,
sad road, lonely highway, some choices to make.
Till such time, this travel ends, leaving a trace,
time to move on, let go, another page to start,
we must take new chances with all our hearts.
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
Just looking above big blue sky,
I can’t help but to wonder,
How things made perfectly even,
mystery which lies beneath.
Rainbow that says -new beginning,
songs soothes sadness and fears.
Breeze cools down heat of summer,
friends inspire us through years…
Walking along this endless journey,
with a prayer in pocket,
Love in heart, hope in our soul,
Life is perfectly blessed.
Recalling every life’s spiral stairway
We ran up, down, we slowly go insane
With beautiful moments in our hands
footsteps soundly banging as it lands.
In a tick of the clock, things vanished,
time flies really fast, always in a rush.
Shadows remain, pieces of past years,
keeping, remembering it all with tears
We all have wonderful memories to always remember as we go through life….
We were in a hurry one time so we took a train ride to get to our destination on time and at the same time we wanted then, a little adventure with our little boy, how he loves train. The excitement on his deep eyes, I can say truly “Priceless”. While moving, he kept on pointing things out of the window. Same thing with our lives, sometimes we have to hit life’s pause button, give ourselves a chance to appreciate God’s gift around and feel this blessings. We only live once, we might miss some beautiful things.
Our world is full of miseries, woes and troubles, it’s reality. I’ve learned from experience if we will handle any of this with an open heart and a good attitude along with a faithful prayer, we will experience a positive shift in our attitude, it will be a lot easier to keep things together with a smile, we can say to life “Try Me” instead of “Why Me”.
Walking down the street, no place to go,
I noticed an empty old house down below.
I thought of stopping by to check inside
finding out the mystery I could see outside,
A vase half broken, it got me mesmerized
Something beyond, bizarreness that holds,
but distant for me to grasp even how close,
I decided then to just leave, it was an illusion
but deep down inside, an endless confusion.
Confusions over certain things in life may always happen, confronting it is important….
Walking down a winding road
carrying my trunk full of load.
I notice a symbol and an arrow,
is this the path leads to mine?
Should I follow this given sign?
In a card game , number of cards are laid out for us to play same as in life different choices are given out by God for us to choose. Confusions play……
A sunset in sight,
in a lonely highway.
A long dark road ,
with bitter memories
Songs from past,
in dying melodies.
You never know when someone may catch a dream from you.You never know when a little word, or something you may do may open up a window of the mind that seeks the light. The way you live may not matter at all…
that stares ,
I see a thing
you can’t deal.
As silence speaks ,
I hear tears
Let me hear
your story ,
I can lend
you my ears.
Let me hold
your hand ,
I ‘ll take away
too harsh ,
yet can make
In a pouring rain
it will teach us
let me show
Life has lots
of funny ways
up on us
we can always
When this life is extremely overwhelming,
worries and doubts, faith ebbing.
A feeling rushing back like tidal waves,
Wind blows straight into our face.
Savior above must have something planned,
Even we can’t fully understand.
Just listen even to the faintest prompting,
with heart open, don’t stop believing.
Sometimes I fail to listen…
Up, side and down,
round and round,
as clock of life goes.
Season of gladness,
moments of sadness.
Earthly Angels beside,
friends we truly call.
To lift , cheer us up,
help us when we fall.
Thanking old and new friends…
May God bless and keep you always ♥
Raging huge fire awaits,
for this soul to face.
Succumbing to fear,
a battle I must take.
A ray of sun just out
between banks of clouds.
Few sprinkles of rain
as heart screams aloud.
God above is a shield,
Nothing to be scared
In whom mercy is endless,
it cannot be compared.
I must keep moving,
a strength I am praying.
5th surgery of my precious little one….a battle ahead..