Time to escape, put the reality aside, dig down this revery,
rest my head, lie down locked in an embrace, feel the sensation.
Been moving around for quite a while, letting go of a memory,
I need to find myself again to inscribe thoughts and emotions.
“oh it’s good to be back now renewed, filling up a blank page”
How to ignite the fire within, this heart calls, screaming,
help me revive my lost soul to keep the flame burning.
My mind is empty, too much noise in this weary head,
I cannot write anything, I feel like a part of me is dead.
I picked up the brush and started to paint the memories.
bringing back the colors, giving them a new life.
I could see black and gray, the images of tears and pain,
orange, red, our days of love and happy embrace.
I blended dark shades into light, to contrast every detail,
green to keep hope alive and blue to hold onto faith.
Your image in my thoughts, the years we spent together,
memories over the rainbow, I paint it whenever I miss.
I am starting again to read old posts from my open diary …it’s where I can rewind some good memories with my boy, that’s all I have now, but I’m glad I did make one. Writing journals, lots of pictures of things we truly treasure, I suggest to keep.
I might need a better strategy, a trick maybe on how to convince a stubborn and uncooperative little kid to take vitamins. I find it so difficult today 😦 and I was losing my patience, everyday is a battle. Our issue before was the taste itself, so I shifted to another brand, yet still, it didn’t work. He will just spit it out and run away. I do hate chasing. Last night, my lil soldier and I had this little agreement that he’ll take his medicines first thing in the morning in exchange of something he likes.My only mistake was, I didn’t put the agreement into writing and had it notarize lol *deep sigh, just in case! 😀. I was right, he forgot all about the agreement. Now, the bathing and the brushing time, I just had to drag him all the way to the bathroom, so many excuses that it pissed me off. I was freaking out and had lost all my powers. What a battling Thursday but still, a mother’s love prevails *Just with a sweet hug and a smile….”It’s alright sweetheart, we can do it later.”
**Entry written November 28, 2013
The soothing sound of a rushing water
the swishing wind blows, tiny voices I hear-
watching rivers move from drops of rain,
little souls playing, splashing, laughing,
day’s simple pleasures, I remember you
I was looking out from our terrace when it started raining, I felt a sudden calm within..tears dropped from my eyes, followed by a thought, these phrases. Missing so many things about you….my angel…my joy..
Walking in the middle of the night, alone in the dark ,
I can see nothing , feels only one thing,
Scared and I dont know where will I be heading,
I can’t see lights, just a shadow following me behind…
I cried and prayed, I have to be strong, my battle along
Hoping there would be light , I could hold on in this darkest night
There you above always waiting, I know..
Something in YOU beyond my thoughts can understand and explain,
I can say , Your power and greatness still and will always remain
YOU reached-out shining lights ,
As YOU never left our sides……….
THANK YOU GOD…