Which Way …

The balance between being kind and assertive while respecting your own limitations and priorities.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re torn between being kind and saying no to a request because you need to prioritize your own limitations and commitments? Is it more appropriate to yield to others’ wishes to avoid being seen negatively, or to assert your rights to protect your boundaries and prioritize your limitations?

From a spiritual standpoint, the foundation should be sacrificial love—loving one another unconditionally and serving people with compassion. On a psychological basis, the foundation should be establishing healthy boundaries, practicing assertiveness, and prioritizing self-care to maintain emotional well-being. Among these two basis, what should be the fundamental criteria for being considered human and good? If refusing, asserting our boundaries, and prioritizing self-care are labeled as selfish, then agreeing and compliance perhaps are described as self-sacrificing or accommodating, we are good human then. How about this- we agree outwardly but feeling burdened internally, we feel conflicted, it’s not right. For this can lead to stress, resentment, and ultimately, negative consequences for our mental health and relationships.

So which is which?  Which option is the most beneficial: prioritizing actions based on spiritual principles or focusing on psychological well-being? This is a dilemma that many of us might encounter at some point in our lives, wherein a situation where we must choose between two conflicting options, both of which have their own merits and implications. This is something to think about… I need to think about .. a personal dilemma I am grappling with these days.

~Nodz

What should comes first ,”Thinking or Feeling?”

In our daily lives, we revolve around what’s happening. We dissect them, leading to decisions. We think, reflect, weigh the pros and cons, then suddenly our feelings come into play, unconsciously dictating, whispering “what if” and “but.” Should we listen to them? 

Often, our decisions are swayed by preferences,  what we like or dislike causing our rationality to fade as our emotions take the lead, shaping our lives. We are drawn to what may be harmful while shying away from what could be beneficial. Rather than prioritizing what is objectively true and good, we justify our choices based on this personal likes and dislikes. We opt for what’s more enjoyable, enticing, and resonates with us because that’s what we feel, although sometimes it can have negative consequences on the flip side.

Some instances- 

*As we grow older, we often find ourselves needing to follow a strict diet to improve our health, but when temptations wave, ouch! We pass by a resto with our favorite pasta, we will start to crave, finding ourselves justifying giving in to our desires, ignoring the rationality of sticking to our diet plan, we may often say, ” Just this once, I don’t want to deprive myself forever. After all, we only live once, whatever happens let it be.”.  What happens now? Our feelings take our intellect hostage, we find ourselves  now inside the resto enjoying the meal.

*Another scenario, in a relationship,  we’ve been friends with someone for over a decade, sharing countless memories and experiences together. However, recently we’ve noticed some troubling behavior patterns, it no longer resonates our values anymore. We find ourselves torn between the years of friendship we’ve built, but moving forward together doesn’t seem feasible anymore. Our feelings dictates over our intellect  what should be done.

God gave us intellect to contemplate things over our emotions, to make decisions, to assess. Just like in the story of Adam and Eve, Eve was tempted to eat the apple; she succumbed to her desires instead of following God’s instructions. As human,  it’s common for our emotions to overshadow our intellect, leading us to prioritize feelings over rationality. It’s a common human dilemma. We all just simply need  God’s guidance to navigate through all our emotions for us to think what’s right.

~ Nodz

STRENGTH AND HOPE

I got a beautiful quote from a character in a Netflix series “Snowpiercer”( still in the process of finishing the series ❤️).

“THE  WEAKEST ARE  THOSE WHO SUFFER FROM MEMORIES, THE STRONGEST CARRY  THE PAST LIKE FUEL TO IGNITE A PATH FORWARD.”

What does this mean?  People who are held back by their past experiences and memories often find it difficult to move forward, whereas those who are strongest are able to use their past as a source of motivation to drive themselves forward. Whenever we had dark experiences from the past, like for instance a tragedy , something that wounds us to the core. This compels us to experience a sense of despair, we find ourselves trapped in a pit. But if we possess the strength to confront our past experiences, advancing forward becomes much simpler.

During the first phase of the pandemic, many perished unexpectedly, losing children, siblings, or even parents just like that. It was extremely difficult, with no certainty in anything. Businesses and jobs were lost. Everyone was stressed. Some of us still carry what happened, the loved ones we’ve lost. When we think about it, we feel weak, questioning what more there is to continue for when they’re no longer here. We must remain resilient, cling to our faith in God, and continue pressing forward.

Just as I did when we lost our youngest , we fought tirelessly to extend his life, never ceasing in our quest for a cure for his illness. I even sought help from a hospital in the US specializing in rare disease. Very grateful for this doctor in that hospital who didn’t hesitate to help, whenever I needed some answers, he was there, assisting and to those friends I’ve met, they know who they are, who helped me, I could gain access to the information I needed. Still, despite our efforts, we still lost our youngest in the end, God  truly knows; His will always prevails for good. Nevertheless, we accepted it and found the strength to move forward. I continue to push forward, living a normal life despite the deep scars of our past. Though it occasionally haunts me, us- I constantly remind myself of the importance of cherishing life.

Again,
“The weakest are those who suffer from memories , the strongest  carry the past like fuel to ignite  a path forward.” -Snowpiercer

*WHAT A BEAUTIFUL QUOTE, ISN’T IT?

~Nodz

Photo credit: by Alfo Medeiros: https://www.pexels.com/photo/lighted-torch-in-close-up-shot-13169561/

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

HOME …
What does HOME mean to you? What’s your perspective on it? Is home defined by where you were born, raised, educated, completed studies, had your first job, and started a family? It serves as the foundation for all of us.

Twenty years ago, my family relocated to another city-Manila. The process was swift, emotionally unprepared, and I struggled to adapt to a life different from what I was accustomed to. Adjusting to the new environment, people, and community was challenging, but I faced it head-on. Over time, I became accustomed to the lifestyle, overcoming obstacles and embracing independence. Although I miss the support system of my hometown, I’ve learned to live on my own/ on our own. I’ve challenged myself, tried new things, and am grateful for the lessons learned here. Indeed, my outlook and perspective on things have transformed here and shaped me. I’ve grown to appreciate and love where I am now.

Yet, ponder the prospect that God may have an alternate plan, a unique purpose guiding me back to the place I called home 20 years ago. Another new challenges for which I may not be ready again? Individuals evolve, circumstances shift, and you’re uncertain about what awaits you in your old familiar places or who those once-familiar faces have become. I might be exaggerating or overanalyzing. Thinking about all of this brings tears to my eyes if I leave the place rather its about time to go from where I learned and survived.

From my standpoint, home is where I gained independence , navigated survival and witnessed the authentic reality of life. If given the choice, I would choose to live till my last breath, where my real strength emerged, where I developed as an individual, the place where I gained the knowledge to thrive in challenging situations. Ultimately, God’s plan prevails, and His purpose, though unseen, is undoubtedly good. Yielding to His divine plan, allowing it to lead me to the place where my heart finds its true home, we’ll see. Now, I grasp the profound meaning in the song “Manila Manila” by Hotdogs, despite the noise, heavy traffic, and crowds. Well, expensive to live, you’ve grown to love the place. Life here teaches you something different; it teaches you survival. It’s a kind of home that will be forever engraved in your heart.

//Nodz

The Symbiotic Dance of Self-Care and Forgiveness

In the intricate tapestry of personal growth, I’ve come to recognize a profound dance between self-care and forgiveness, a symbiotic relationship that weaves resilience, emotional healing, and a tapestry of well-being.

Within every family or any relationship, chaos prevails, misunderstandings arise, and clashes of pride are inevitable. One might express, another might rectify, yet ultimately, it is communication that intertwines the threads of hurt and pain. Can we address internal conflicts through venting or expressing grievances? Allowing space and time with prayers helps and collaborate harmoniously. Navigating this complexity is no simple feat. As humans, we inherently justify our beliefs, often insisting on our opinions. We truly need guidance, a need to actively listen, to genuinely feel, and to deeply understand each other, our hearts and mind should collaborate and exist in harmony.

Reflect upon this as query to dwell upon. Is it correct to perceive forgiveness as a facet of self-care in your perspective? Are there individuals whom you have not forgiven, perhaps for specific reasons? Have you navigated the journey of forgiveness for those who have brought about considerable turmoil? and distress in your life?

Perhaps now is the moment to pause, reflect, and contemplate the transformative potential of forgiveness . Certainly, this embodies authentic self-care—easing the burdensome load and welcoming a serene peace into your life. I am offering insights based on my own experiences and reflections.

~Nodz

She

In the vast abyss of darkness,
She find solace, where shadows dance, secrets find their place.

A loneliness and sorrow hid between the images’ face, in a loud screaming silence, a story to retrace.

Her dreams, distant, beyond earth’s reach they lie, she merely glimpse them from a distant light.

In solitude with music, matching its melody and rhythm, her divine. In heeding her heart’s words, she is fine.

You’ll discern her inner thoughts by gazing into her eyes. Her dreams stretch as vast as the skies.

Will someone reach out to clasp her hand, sense the yearning, feel the rain. Perhaps we will understand the depth of her dreams and pain.

~Nodz

Photo by luizclas/Pexels

In The Tranquil Embrace of God’s Peace

In the hustle and bustle of today’s fast-paced world, finding moments of tranquility and inner peace has become a precious endeavor. Many individuals seek solace in various avenues, but one powerful and enduring way is by connecting with God through solitude.

Back in 2013 when we lost our little boy, we maintained a ritual, which I often refer to as a practice, of attending the Holy Eucharist every early Sunday at a Catholic Convent. The Carmel of Thérèse of Lisieux, I developed an affection for the stillness of this location, where it seems as though you’re in the presence of God every time you visit, sensing the possibility of healing within reach, calming the inner turmoil. During our most profound agony, we sought solace to alleviate the pain.

Amidst the pandemic, we found ourselves enveloped by fears and concerns that gave rise to anxiety. Personally, I went through the challenges and turmoil of anxiety. It proved to be quite a challenge, most churches were closed but fortunately, we discovered one church where we could visit, seek solace, embrace the quiet, and find respite for a brief period and I managed to handle my fears and worries.

In a world characterized by constant noise and distractions, the practice of finding peace alone with God holds immense significance. Through solitude, individuals can tap into the depths of their spiritual selves, fostering self-discovery, a deeper connection with God, and lasting inner peace. This journey towards finding solace in divine communion brings forth personal transformation, spiritual growth, and a renewed perspective on life’s challenges. As individuals continue to seek moments of solitude with their Creator, they embark on a path that leads to a harmonious and fulfilling existence.

Amid life’s noise, a tranquil retreat,
Alone with God, where solace meets.
A sacred hush, a soothing grace,
In His presence, I find my place.

A quiet realm, where worries cease,
God’s gentle peace, a sweet release.
Through whispered prayers, my soul’s aligned
In solitude, His love I find.

No need for words, just still embrace,
His calming touch, my heart’s own space.
The chaos fades,
His light shines through,
Alone with God, my spirit renews.

ALONE WITH GOD, A SACRED ART 🙏

His peace enwraps my weary heart.
Through every trial, every lease,
His presence brings a lasting peace.

In whispered winds and rustling leaves,
His whispers soft, my soul receives.
A sacred dance, a silent song,
In solitude, I truly belong.

~Nodz

Photo credit to: https://www.pexels.com/@shvetsa/

Where’s the old smile gone…

Used to be with simple things,
Watching the sun breaks and rises into day,
Staring at the moon that glows in its own way..

She never carries the loneliness she never had,
She reached out what’s pure, never thought of being sad,

Simple words and to listen were all she knew,
To be a shadow among the few.

She never imagined a picture fades over years
Or even a path lost in the middle of a maze.

Just a pen, a note, a song and a laugh
Nothing would ever go rough.

She looked over happiness as love within its reach,
She held hope as a dream and a wish.

But never expected the pain as big waves lash the shore,
All she wanted was to be loved, nothing more..

Still lost things at the end, time then was never been a friend
Yet she tried her best to mend, to pick up all the pieces but then

Season change, so as with her,
Tears may soon pass, she believed and from there,

She wanted to be remembered,
Not with the lost smile once she had,
But the old smile she once shared .

Nodz ~

Remember This Day

 

Voices starting to get unheard, we mourn,
selfishness and abuse of power manipulate and control.

Personal motives furnish with thorny scales,
pointed sharp spikes beneath the hearts and minds

Difficult to comprehend, the world must know,
this wall of raging flame between justice and fairness

Such power, not anyone could fight, fear rules,
All are helpless, cannot even defend one’s position

Rights and freedom ended, mark this day, be prepared,
 God says “Vengeance is mine I will repay”

~Nodz

 

I am grieving to what’s happening in our country today, our government shut down our largest TV Network, ABS-CBN, rejecting the license renewal. My bitter heart goes out to all thousand employees who will gonna lose jobs in the midst of pandemic crisis. God sees and hears. I am praying for people behind, they will be enlightened. Just heartless...

Answer

 

Years I have traveled

Just to look for the answer

Love please lead me there

 

All answers lie within if we only choose to love despite …… 

~Nodz

Photo by Gantas Vaičiulėnas from Pexels

INNER STRENGTH

A very tiny sound that roars, often in a loud silence,

like bubbles in wind, floats but then it may disappear.

An inner strength we need to dig down, find and keep

A God’s gift we must use, for battles He equipped us.

Blood may shed, we’ll scream in tears but never to quit,

lead us to faith, His unseen hands will shape our fate.

 

 

 

This is for a very dear friend, who’s fighting a hard battle with breast cancer. I can feel her deep pain and struggle and I feel so sorry for her. I truly believe in the midst of our every storm, God watches and has the great power to calm it. My prayer, a continuous strength for her to keep fighting. I am humbly asking for your prayers too,  her name is Lariza. Thank you so much… ~Nodz

 

YOU

 

You blew me away

Right here deep inside my soul

But time took you then

 

Photo Credit: http://flavors.me/ianafalk

HOPE AND LOVE

Words I remember
From fire that ignites my soul
I am holding on…

~Nodz

 

 

Photo credit: Wicker paradise http://www.wickerparadise.com

 

Missing you

 

Your sweet melody
Haunts and crushes me inside
I am missing you

~Nodz

 

YOUR WIND

 

Your wind here soothes me
Calms my aching heart and mind
You cleanse my being

~Nodz

 

Gloomy Friday with my cup of coffee, as I could hear the wind playing its own music, its a perfect time for me to write, get in touch with my  emotions and… continue my Udemy course online!   time spend alone can be some of the most productive time in our lives “I believe”… 

 

Two Hearts

Two lovers dancing
Soul and heart reuniting
Me and you in dreams

~Nodz

Photo Credit: http://flickr.com/photos/lizgrace

 

I Won’t Give Up

 

This tired aching feet is telling; “you need to stop”
but my heart and mind whispering a different thing.
I must find the light, that searing light I once had,
love that awakened my soul, ignited my whole being.

~Nodz

 

Your Journey…My Words….

Do feel and listen to what it really says,
a loud thumping sound of a horse’s hoof.
Continous, running, a story that plays,
a fast beat, till it screams to wall and roof.

Whisper it to Heaven, tell all your fears,
It shed the rays of grace, breathe, be still.
It will embrace you, wipe all your tears.
God’s comfort, His hands you would feel.

Soul will be lifted, new song will be sung,
you will hear angel’s hum inside your heart.
Don’t give up, hear it from my own tongue,
been there, just stay, wait and never depart.

~Nodz

Was Alone..

Looking back down her memory lane, it was all fine,
a life being surrounded by people and smiles.
Everyone she knew was there, moon and sea rhyme,
blowing their kisses, walking with her in miles.

A fierce storm came up and her boat slowly sinking,
grasping for help, praying she could feel a hand.
But she was alone, not even a single rope…nothing,
still ..she swam out with faith reaching the sand.

~Nodz

Love Will Lead

Whenever we close our eyes, our story begins,
we can run miles to miles, use our wings,
will travel far, into time, places we never been,
we no longer feel the part of us that cries,
breaking the chain of seeing the hurt and lies,
no young, no old, no war, no more grieving.
no more fighting, only peace and love is leading,
putting anguish aside, throwing away hate.
Watching this world, I want to drown my sorrow,
any chance to change this man-made fate?

~Nodz

_____________________

 

 

 

The Ray of Light

New ray of light slowly coming out somewhere,
breathing now the peace, finding my way back.
Such a lonely road, a long journey I traveled,
I don’t want to go back anymore from that track.
The smiles of strangers, I’m starting to notice,
hearing their voices in the air now, its very clear.
I look ahead to all the dreams once I made,
will hold on hope again, I am no longer afraid.

~Nodz

 

Image by: writing.wikinut.com

The Storm

You’ve blown it with your anger,
wound you inflicted, too deep.
I heard you screaming somewhere,
fiercely dragged us and ripped.
Were you telling us something?
a message, reminding us to think.

~Nodz

 

We were  intensely hit  last July 16, 2014 by a typhoon. Thank God my family was safe, prayers for those affected. I could relate this in life, whenever we experience storms, the moment it roll in, it give us an important message, to be more prayerful to strengthen our faith and trust to God.

Strong Enough..

Orange moon rises beneath the orange sky,
darkness starts to float, heaving a sigh.
I see flashes of light, pain, grief flickering,
her mind wanders, heart screaming.
Somewhere between wanting to believe,
when morning rises, sorrow leaves
Far better things ahead, will soon unfold,
I know she’s strong enough to hold.

~ Nodz

A Furry Friend..

It’s really amazing what dogs can do to human.

After the loss of our boy, days was not easy. I couldn’t even imagine before, a life without my son, how to start each day without his presence. It was just a bark of a furry little friend that changed it all…a Terrier mix  our “Kimi”. Before Kimi came, I asked my son in prayer if he could give mommy anything, for me to feel his presence. I was walking near my mom’s house, caught her beautiful eyes in a little cage with other puppies, she was different from the rest. My prayer got answered.

 

I brought her home.  Her first time to travel in a plane. With my heavy heart, she made things easy.  Now, she’s my everyday happiness, my emotional support, even though our little boy isn’t here anymore to cuddle and hug Kimi and how we miss him  each day… I know he’s smiling up there and as an angel to watch her and us everyday.

How you looked deep into my eyes,

you touched this broken heart, soul of mine.

As you wag your tail, sadness flies,

your bark that says, stay strong, you’ll  be fine.

~Nodz

Thank you “God”, our angel “Raik” and “Kimi”

 

Mr. Happiness

I see you in three words in a phrase,
hear you in a gentle clang of wind chime.

Feel you in the warmth of sunrays,
in our conversation that sweetly rhyme.

When night falls you’re in the silence,
in waves when they collide with the sand.

In the comfort and hug of a best friend,
in light of hope, love that God always send.

Happiness you’re just there, everywhere,
spins, turns, in hearts, if we only look within.

~Nodz

__________________________

Happiness depends upon our hearts,   on the way it will see things…..            

Good Matters

She walked passed right in the middle of a fading crowd,
voices slowly vanishing, faces she barely recognize now.
Their shadows starts to come out, fog wrapping around.
feeling a little fearful, things around starts to get fuzzy.
She traced her footprints digging through old memories,
No longer afraid as she looked back at all her journeys.

~Nodz

______________________________________________

One day we’ll just be a memory to some people, do our best to be a good one 🙂

 

 

His Story…

There’s darkness living deep into his very soul
a twin shadow lurking, a past untold.
Screaming and burning up from the inside,
an image sneaking up, voice on the side.
Dripping tears onto his pillow, spirit groaning.
he could hardly breathe, heart drowning.
“Where am I heading to..why am I really here?
fate tore him, given him so much fear.
His questions that has never been answered,
buried down on his grave, no longer heard.

~Nodz

_____________________________________

I’ ve been reading lately a story whose life is put on line yet lived in faith and hope, really inspiring ….. but thinking the other way around…what if…..

 

What I learned….

At some point in life we do  wish and think,
we could turn back time from the past.
To change, undo painful moments in a blink,
shifting tears to joy, better ending we simply ask
But life isn’t fairy tale with forest of unicorns,
a swoosh of magical  wand to change it all.
God has good reason, purpose from life’s thorns
this we should remember whenever we fall.

~Nodz

Right Decision

I just want to see what awaits at the end,
pressure pushing me down, life’s teasing me again.
Having this second thought if I will just stay,
to protect myself from rain and winds along the way.
Thinking it over thrice may be a good notion.
Consulting the One Above I guess is the right action.

____________________________________

We need not to rely on ourselves alone  when it comes to big decisions, consulting the best One Above can give the best suggestions.

~Nodz

Ride of Life…

I took a ride on a train leading to different places,
to a lonely town, never seen such unhappy faces.
As I entered a small poor village, I really wondered,
people are still happy, despite living in hunger.
Upon reaching  a busy suburban area, I felt so sorry
all wrapped with time, life’s full of anxiety, worry.
I had to detour, go the other side, I was simply amazed,
The harmony, the kindness among, as I gazed.
If we  stop once in a while, look around life, we learn,
we take good with the bad,  smile with the sad.
And remember what we had…

~Nodz

New Page

Taking my last glimpse on that cold winter day,
the journey I had, filled with struggles and pain.
Individually we’re  given life we must embrace,
sad road,  lonely highway, some choices to make.
Till such time, this travel ends, leaving  a trace,
time to move on,  let go,  another page to start,
we must take new chances  with all our  hearts.

_______________________________________

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
―Ann Landers

~Nodz

The Mystery

Just looking above big blue sky,
I can’t help but to wonder,
How things made perfectly even,
mystery which lies beneath.
Rainbow that says -new beginning,
songs soothes sadness and fears.
Breeze cools down heat of summer,
friends inspire us through years…
Walking along this endless journey,
with a prayer in pocket,
Love in heart, hope in our soul,
Life is perfectly blessed.

~Nodz

Blissful Memories

Recalling every life’s spiral stairway
We ran up, down, we slowly go insane
With beautiful  moments in our  hands
footsteps soundly banging as it lands.
In a tick of the clock,  things vanished,
time flies really fast, always in a rush.
Shadows remain, pieces of past years,
keeping, remembering it all with  tears

_________________________________________________

We all have wonderful memories to always remember as we go through life….

~Nodz

Tears

Quick tears to relieve
sudden hurt and anguish.
For times we’re touched,
too moved to speak.
It’s our healing outlet,
for sorrows to vanish.
In every wounded spirits,
hearts lowly and meek.
In life sometimes so grim,
dark sadness, a reality.

~Nodz

An Empty House

Walking down the street, no place to go,
I noticed an empty old house down below.
I thought of stopping by to check inside
finding out the mystery I could see outside,
A vase half broken, it got me mesmerized
Something beyond, bizarreness that holds,
but distant for me to grasp even how close,
I decided then to just leave, it was an illusion
but deep down inside,  an endless confusion.

_______________________

Confusions  over certain things in life may always  happen,  confronting it  is important….

~Nodz

The path

Walking down a winding road
carrying my trunk full of load.
I notice a symbol and an arrow,
is this the path leads to mine?
Should I follow this given sign?

________________________________

In a card game , number of cards are laid out for us to play same as in life  different  choices are given out  by God  for us to choose. Confusions play……

~Nodz

Fears

Here you go, buzzing, scaring me off again,
like an eerie sound, I can barely explain.
Perfect blue sky turns to shades of gray
Sudden rainstorm , darkness fills my air.
Once more, let me hold Your flaming torch
I cannot  find my trail now,  seems I lost.

____________________________

To fear, a part of human nature, will creep up on us like a bolt of lightning. Been 2 weeks now, finally home, the hard part was over (surgery of my little soldier). Recalling the feeling I had that moment when we brought him to OR, inside I was dying , couldn’t hold  back my tears, he was screaming and shouting not on fears but  for cheeseburger  :/. God ‘s so good, everything went very well. But I can’t refrain from thinking , the if’s and but’s in the future  ( just human ).. who to call?…..

~Nodz

Uncertainty

Sun was out , hiding in clouds, up to something
Sky turned to gray, I heard thunder rumbling.
Uncertainty of things were, couldn’t figure out
Driven by a fear from which has brought about
Better things in store , who’s plan is it anyhow?
God reveals today, everything’s clear to me now.

~Nodz

Life, a River…

In a swift and raging flowing river
charm that lies, yet we’ll get quiver
Beauty in things just easy to define,
if pain gets in, fears sneak behind
Believe, hold fast to each  dream,
life, a river, on it, reflects a sunbeam

~Nodz

My Trail of Sadness

A sunset in sight,
in a lonely highway.
A long dark road ,
with bitter memories
Songs from past,
in dying melodies.

~Nodz

JOURNEY

We are all walking in same journey in life but only  on different paths taking- can be a road of struggles;  could be pain, confusions, bitterness, fears or even blessings of all sorts; happiness, abundance. Most of us,  when in pain or going through some kind of storm in life, we prefer to be in silence, pretending things are well, we tend to bottle all things inside until we come to the point of breaking and freaking out. One thing I’ve learned in life whenever I share my feelings, whether it’s fear, worries or sadness,  just being real to open up and share what’s going on, I am making a difference, I’m bringing healing to people, I am opening doors  and windows for them   to be able to understand what life really is and they can be able to make  own realizations that could help them on whatever journey they’re taking .. JUST A SHARE 🙂

Image from FB site  Illuminating Souls

~Nodz

Battle ahead

Raging huge fire awaits,
for this soul to face.
Succumbing to fear,
a battle I must take.
A ray of the sun just out
between banks of clouds.
Few sprinkles of rain
as heart screams aloud.
God above is a shield,
Nothing to be scared
In whom mercy is endless,
it cannot be compared.
I must keep moving,
a strength I am praying.

_________________________

5th surgery of my precious little one….a battle ahead..

~Nodz

Juggler

Like most people today. I lead an active life. Often I feel like  a one -woman-juggling act. Sometimes it get’s out of control-or rather, I get out of control. Recently, I found myself waking up in the morning, dreading to face the new day and my seemingly endless duties. My prayer time was sometimes suffering  *sorry Lord 😦  overwhelmed with pressures. Yet, I kept taking on more and more….

Get on, sun is up,
Gotta start moving
A toast and coffee’s in desk,
I’m now start thinking
A hidden voice saying,
“Slow down , just take your time”
Still, this clock loudly screaming

Time is up!, sun’s down
I must be home by now
To our door, feet leading me
To the fridge ,”let me see”
Kids asking what’s for dinner?
Giving them a wink, ” wait then”
Just slowly count one to ten

Alone now , my prayer time
Now I understand
My purpose , things I need to see
Family and friends are enough to be
A better person, a good mother
Life is beautiful, one way or another
To be happy not to grumble.. rather

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

Four walled room

I hate the thought of going back
To that lonely deserted place,
In that four walled room, will stay.
Same like being stuck in midst of a maze
Miseries besiege , you’ll be dragged
By the unfathomable depths of your fears
Staying in that place, you’ll be drowning
You can never escape from bitterness and tears.
Fate is never fair, we will be caught
In a current much stronger than we thought
Why that be?
We can’t control what goes on around what we want to see.

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

Where’s the old smile gone..

*******************

Used to be with simple things,
Watching the sun breaks and rises into day,
Staring at the moon that glows in its own way..

She never carries the loneliness she never had,
She reached out what’s pure, never thought of being sad,

Simple words and to listen were all she knew,
To be a shadow among the few.

She never imagined a picture fades over years
Or even a path lost in the middle of a maze.

Just a pen, a note, a song and a laugh
Nothing would ever go rough.

She looked over happiness as love within its reach,
She held hope as a dream and a wish.

But never expected the pain as big waves lash the shore,
All she wanted was to be loved, nothing more..

Still lost things at the end, time then was never been a friend
Yet she tried her best to mend, to pick up all the pieces but then

Season change, so as with her,
Tears may soon pass, she believed and from there,

She wanted to be remembered,
Not with the lost smile once she had,
But the old smile she once shared .

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

Changes and Choices

Life is full of changes and choices, I guess that can be said of all of our lives. Would it not be good if we could choose a period of our lives that was enjoyable and let time stand still. Changes and choices goes hand in hand, we can never predict things to happen, sometimes a certain circumstance that requires to choose an options, could be an alternative just to come up with a decision due to some unexpected changes.

********************

Too many crossroads, which way, what path
No idea what awaits, no clue what’s ahead
Uncertainties and doubts are the words
We dream of something, we even wish it to happen..
We hold on to a certain thing
We do everything
We choose, we love
We give, we lose

Live life well,   all of us  should
Laugh as its last,  all we need
Love with no end, this, we must

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

Road

Life is a road …..

I was driving
in rough  dusty road.,
Finding  the way out,
was difficult.
Almost giving up ,
struggling to move forward

where I can slow down
and take the bend.
Caught in between ,
the usual thing
each time
I’m on my way
to the end..
Exhausted , drained,
Anybody guide me..
Which route,
a detour maybe
that leads thee..

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

My Childhood Sweetheart

Woke up smiling this morning , had this really  strange, beautiful dream ….

**************

Walking down the city crowd
In a different time with a familiar stare and voice
Reminiscing our childhood days ,
We were paired by our parent’s choice.
Giggling , teasing laughing and playing around ,
Those days so endless.
A treasure to remember, really fun to look back,
Moments truly priceless.
Back to that dream, you held my hand ,
Like a fortune teller telling me things
You said , can we have more time ,
I’ll invite you sometime, my heart swings
Hahaha What a dream !,
As I see both of us now in a different world apart
But I will never forget that once upon a time I had you ,
My childhood sweetheart.

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

Holding Faith

What it’s like staying in hospital?

***************

Counting hours ,days
sitting by our chairs.
Watching the sun rises,
with hopes inside arises.
Witnessing the sun setting
with fears lurking behind.
Staying in this kind of place
we have no other choice
but to silently pray.
Questioning the heart,
wondering, figuring it all,
an ordinary circumstance
or a destined fate to hold?
I looked around, I listened
to every people’s call.
Each burning emotions
tears surround their wall,
I pray to God for comfort,
strength may He bless,
for us, broken hearted,
we may find light and rest.

(◕‿◕✿) Nodz ~

Mirror

*****************

Sitting in front of a mirror,

I can see a reflection

 a shadow of what’s outside.

What if they would figure out

what’s hidden

what’s keeping inside.

They may think ,

it’s a lie,

could be real,

may be something,

could be nothing.

If I could

let this hidden go,

forget, escape from ,

 just let it slip away.

I may be able to know,

where will I be going,

what I may

not to do and say.

Hopeful of things

beyond my imagination.

Be brave and strong

what lies within.

My wishes

may not come true,

dreams may far

but then

At least I know

what would I expect

in between